Once a upon a midnight haven. Along came a cow name Mr. Maven. For they say the cow was very lucky. But oh what a day for something very mucky. Oh ye the coming of Mr. Maven and his milk. And for every cereal there will be silk. But wait isn't Mr. Maven a guy? How can you milk him even if you try? I don't know, just sounds cool.

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What's the difference between Wolfjob and a Jew? Wolfjob is attractive.

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A cowboy rides into town and stays the weekend but then leaves on Wednesday, how is this possible? He was alive for the weekend and died on Sunday, his body left on Wednesday. Now get a job and be happy with your life.

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A horse walks into a bar, and orders a drink. The bartender is amazed at first, but then remembers that he just did acid.

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You're flying above the Kansas Ocean, you lose your brakes and have to paddle all the way to shore. How many dogs can you fit on a carousel? Blue, because Ice Cream is cold.

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He decided to sail to Portland. He cast off and was never seen again.

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Steven Hawking walks into a bar. Steven Hawking is disabled from the neck down. I lied.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 commited statutory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8 with 10 and 11, murdered 9, and was sentenced to jail for life.... eventually the case was dropped and 7 was let out early for community service. He told 6 he was coming for him 6 months later.... 6 was so terrified he didn't know what to do... he was living in fear... eventually he commited suicide by jumping off a cliff just off the coach of Palm Beach into the pacific ocean. His body was never found His family didnt get to say good bye... This is why 6 was afraid of 7

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penis?

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Why didn't suzie eat? Because she wasn't hungry

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Why are white people afraid of black people? The holocaust

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the monkey

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A. Why did the man crash the car? B. Because the driver was a blind man with no arms, who happened to have a psychological problem affecting his brain's ability to detect movement, thus making the car crash.

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Why did the door close? Because I closed it.

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What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? A typical out-door activity.

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A black man and a white man and a chinese man are sitting together: Cultural Diversity.

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What's worse than a baby dying of AIDS? It depends upon one's frame of reference. A family living in the US might consider the death of a baby by AIDS a horrible act by the gods. But to a similar family in sub-Saharan Africa, this might be a regular, albeit tragic occurrence.

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Where do you find a good lawyer? In the cemetary

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whats fat round and bouncing off the ground= George goodburn

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Why did the frog cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken.

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I created darkness. God created the stars. God created the bee. I created the wasp. God created the child. I banged your mother. Moral: Soon my wings of darkness shall destroy your very own star, these words seem empty now, so I will fill them with true meaning and purpose as I will give the same to you the day the sky brightens no more.

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Whats the worst thing about walking through a meadow of dead babies My boner

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why was the little girl crying in her dads arms? Because he was strangling her

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Why did the book fly to Cambodia? It was on a plane that was delivering educational material to third world countries to enhance their schools and increase their literacy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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