Why didn't the octopus have any friends? Because they are antisocial creatures by nature. -Louis

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Who does creatine? James Cornish

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What do you do if you see a Mexican riding a bike? Say "Hello." It is polite.

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Bob: What's red and goes ding-a-ling? Trudy: A red ding-a-ling? Bob: Yes. What's blue and goes ding-a-ling? Trudy: A blue ding-a-ling? Bob: No, they only come in red.

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knock knock?? whos there?? Not yo cheese because i already ate it

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What's the square root of everything. F**K LOGIC

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I see said the blind man to his deaf wife as his crippled son pushed him in his wheelchair.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She's dead.

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Adam and Eve ate the apple and felt a bit ashamed and stuff. God looked upon them and said, well its just a fucking apple get outta here you kids! Adam and Eve also took things a bit too literal

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A Mexican, an Italian and an American all walk into a bar. They order their drinks and have pleasant conversation, and all return home to loving families safely and securely.

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Person 1: Happy Halloween! Person 2: Hey, I'm Jewish

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What's worse than finding a worm inside your apple? Finding an apple inside your worm.

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A terrorist robs a walrus.

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The girl was really drunk and passed out. She woke up the next day with a hangover.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he was mauled by a tiger.

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Yo momma's so fat, she's most likely to be at risk of high cholesterol and should probably get herself tested at her nearest health clinic.

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A woman walks into a doctor's office and says "Doctor, my water just broke." The doctor replies "Get off my carpet."

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why was the asian kid the only one to get an A+ in the test? He spent the longest time studying and was therefore better prepared than the other students.

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Stop looking at these jokes and go fuck yourself.

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what do you get a man with no arms or legs for his birthday? a quick, painless death.

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what is better than your entire family getting brutally murdered applesauce

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I dyslexic man walks into a bra. This incident had no relation whatsoever to his condition. The bra was just in an unusual and inconvenient location, and he wasn't paying much attention to where he was going.

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What did the one stethoscope say to the other stethoscope? Nothing. Stethoscopes can't talk.

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Roses are red violets are blue I am in 301 Club and so are you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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