Hey I just met you, and this is crazy! But iI'm on bath salts and your face looks tasty!

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In soviet russia, roses are violet

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Roses are red Violets are purple, and anyone who tells you otherwise is wrong.

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aodhan hearty

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Q: What did one muffin say to the other muffin? A: "AAAA! A TALKING MUFFIN!"

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A man walks in to a bar, Has a drink, and leaves.

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did you hear the joke about the lobster and the clownfish? no.. oh.

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what do you call some one with no arms and no legs? names.

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What is a long boring story that no one will ever want to read? the life of Sarah Palin.

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what's the difference between you and a yack one is a spitting idiot and the other one is a camel

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Q. Whats worse than 9 babies in 1 suitcase? A. 1 baby in 9 suitcases.

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What do you call a mouse having sex? A spouse.

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A cat walks into a bar. What's the first thing it says? Absolutely nothing. It was knocked out.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To look at the most interesting man in the world.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police, your child has been in a terrible car accident.

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whats worse than 1 bee sting? Two bee stings. Whats worse than two bee stings? The holocaust. Whats worse than the holocaust? Three bee stings.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? We will never know. Chickens are incapable of communicating with humans and thus the intent of the chicken can only be speculated.

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What did the murderer do to the dentist? Nothing, the murderer has served his time and is clean. But he did get his teeth cleaned.

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Why isn;t the square root of peanut butter very athletic?.Actually, peanut butter isn't a mathematical equation nor does it have the necessary chemical make-up, physical properties or the biological construct that is required for it to be able to be considered athletic, stupid. You now have a inoperable tumor at the base of your spine. And I fucked your dad and shat in his mouth. Also, the cure for leukemia is my diarrhoea, you faggot.

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What do you do if there's a rabid elephant chasing behind you, a vicious jaguar to your right, a rearing horse to your left, and a bloodthirsty lion in front of you? Innoculate yourself with a rabies vaccine, prod the jaguar on the nose with a stick (they hate that and will probably flee as a result), speak softly and calmly to the horse and encourage the lion to go for the elephant instead of you. You will probably still die as a combined result of mauling and trampling, and it's unlikely that you'll have two rabies vaccines to hand by chance for such situations, but your chances of survival will be minimally improved.

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Whats worse than bieber fever? A yeast infection.

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What do you call a woman with no arms or legs that fell off a boat fucked

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What is the difference between you and a brick? A brick gets laid.

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Children and bretheren, stinky cheese Stinkyy cheeeese. Like this or you will smell stinky cheese in your bedroom

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops