Why was six afraid of seven? 7 is greater than 6. Didn't you learn about number lines in 3rd grade?

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Chuck Norris doesnt eat honey, hes allergic to it.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How fast do Jews cook? It depends how many you have in the oven at once.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa? Tiger woods is a famous golf player and Santa is a fictional old man dressed in red and white who is said to live in Lapland, have an airborne sleigh driven by eight magical reindeer and come down the chimney to fill childrens' stockings on Christmas eve.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

-Children! Come inside! -Why? -We are going out...

thumb_up thumb_down +3

whats worse than gill? nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Where did the taxi driver put his suitcase down? celery

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q: What did the passengers think of thier Chineese bus driver? A: They were very pleased with the bus driver's service, for he was a very safe driver and got them to their destination on time.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Whats the difference between a black man and a pizza? A pizza can feed a family of 5

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q: What would happen if you didn't sleep all night? A: You would probably be really tired and start seeing things and speaking strange sentences as a result.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q: Have you heard from that guy who dropped a piano on his head? A: No one has, he dropped a piano on his head.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Roses are red Violets are blue Charcoal is black and so is my neighbor

thumb_up thumb_down +3

what's black and can't swim?

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q: Why did the cheerleader drop her pom-poms? A: She was knocked unconscious from behind and repeatedly sodomized by a convicted rapist.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did Suzy Fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Suzy.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

why did the bear cross the road? to get cream cheese.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

I forgot how the joke starts but the punchline goes something something something your moms a slut.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

HEY YOU!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What happens when an alien goes out in the rain It gets wet

thumb_up thumb_down +3

I got pussies, cocks, asses and bitches. In my animal store.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q: Do these jeans make me look fat? A: No your fat makes you look fat.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

One day, an Irishman, a Jew and an American were walking home from a long game of golf. "God, that was a long game" said the American, to which the Irishman replied "aye, that it was." The Irishman then turned to the Jew, and asked him how he managed to get two birdies in succession. The Jew, after a moment of deliberation, began to explain. "Well, it all began when I was six. See, there was a mountain right next to Casparia, the village I lived for most of my life back in Wales. Every day, I'd come back from school, and ask my dad why nobody ever attempted to scale the mountain. 'To do so would be an unnecessary risk, son, and people are too busy working to put food and water on the tables for their families to undertake something so foolish.' One night, when insomnia was getting the better of me, I decided to get a better look at the mountain, so I strapped on my boots, my fur coat and some woolly mittens and left for the mountain. After a few hours of walking, I approached the closest hill which gave me a perfect view of the mountain's first peak, and there I spotted a polar bear, mauling a hiker to death." The Jew paused to check the Irishman and the American were following, when the American spoke up; "hold on there, there aren't any polar bears in Casparia!" The Irishman also spoke up; "there isn't even a village called Casparia, well, anywhere!" The Jew smiled slightly, and a few seconds later the smile broke out into a gigantic grin, and he finally replied: "exactly".

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why is it pointless to brutally kill and dismember a Japanese man? You'd be satisfying his sexual fetish.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you get when you cross a squirrel and lasagna? I don't know,I'm asking you the question.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops