A doctor walks into a bar. It's his day off and decides to celebrate after a long week of working.

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Fire is red Water is blue Earth is brown Air is transparent

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My computer will die soon, and my life is a lie. Refrigerator.

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What's similar about a mole and an eagle? They both are blind and dig through the ground. Except the eagle.

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Yo momma's so fat, she's most likely to be at risk of high cholesterol and should probably get herself tested at her nearest health clinic.

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A bench doesn't breathe, apparently Mexicans do.

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Why did the skeleton cross the road? Because Apocalypse arrived and dead people now have the ability to walk.

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What do you call a girl who denies that she is one? Justin Beiber

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man: im hungry can i have a sandwich wife: go make one man: then what are you gonna do

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What did the deaf blonde say to the brunette? Nothing.

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What's black and dangerous? A fridge, I lied about the black part.

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where does a person with one leg work? anywere

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A. Do you know what they call Bing Crosby in Sweden? B. No. A. Bing Crosby.

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what do you call the head-less man sitting on your porch? By what ever his name is!!

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if i get 1,000 likes ill kill your hole family

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Why isn't eating an Olympic sport? Because that wouldn't make any sense.

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Why did Alex fall off the swing? he had no arms

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roses are red violets are blue some poems rhyme others don't.

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What's black, brown and red? My dog as a serial killer

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Barack Obama, Mother Teresa and Stephen Hawkings had race. Who won? Barack Obama. This deduction can be made as Stephen Hawking is severely disabled by a motor neurone disease known as amyotrophic lateral sclerosis. Henceforth, he has very limited control over the majority of his body and is confined to a electric wheel chair. Thus, he could not participate competitively in the race. Moreover, Mother Teresa is dead. This unfortunate occurrence was caused by several myocardial infarctions in combination with pneumonia. Regardless of this, Mother Teresa's meek and frail build would slower her speed considerably; in comparison to Barack Obama's relatively athletic and robust frame. Nonetheless, President Obama is a smoker. Therefore, he may experience symptoms associated with emphysema during the race, causing him to retire. As such no-one would finish the race, leaving the spectators feeling very disappointed and empty.

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haha

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What is black white and red all over A tree in black, white, and red paint.

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How did the polack burn his hands on the stove? He placed his hands on the hot stove top burners not realizing they were hot.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks him, "Why the long face?" The horse did not reply, because horses cannot talk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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