A doctor, a farmer, and a blonde walk into a bar. The doctor orders red wine because he knows it's good for the heart. The farmer orders a Piña Colada because he likes fruit. The two men wait eagerly to what the blonde is about to order. The blonde opens her purse and says "Damn it, I can't find my credit card." Suddenly, a handsome young gentleman walks up to her says "Don't worry miss, I'll buy a drink for you. What are you having?" The blonde looks up and says "Don't worry? I just lost my credit card!" In a fit a of anger, the blonde storms out the bar and doesn't order anything.

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Why did the young boy lose a testicle? Because he was viciously raped by a large parrot

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Knock Knock. Who's there? A dozen burly firefighters ready to stick it in your pooper

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I'd like to make this joke funnier but I can't. It's stupid. I don't even like it.

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Q: Why was 6 afraid of 7? A: Cus 7 had AIDS and it was bleeding all over the place!

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Im thinking of a very long word..... L O N G

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Roses are black, violets are black. I'm blind.

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Q: which of the following is a prime number? A: 17

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How do spell____? awk moment when u try asking someone how to spell something over text but they have no idea what ur saying

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Why does Rupert The Bear wear checkered trousers? Because he's a twat.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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some of the people who write thes jokes are complete assholes

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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What do elephants have that no other animal has? Baby elephants.

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Why does the St. Johns River flow north? Because Georgia Sucks.

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Justin Beiber's Talent.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Banana! Banana who? Knock knock! Who's there? Banana! Banana who? Knock knock! Who's there? Orange! Orange who? Orange you glad I didn't stab you 17 times in the kidney?

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Why did the boy scratch his back? A:because it was itchy.

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Why did the man eat the cheese? because the man was a mouse

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Knock Knock Who's there The military. We're under attack. The military we're under attack who? Dinos

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-What did the duck say to Federico Costa nearby the phonebox in a rainy day? -Quack

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Why did the monkey fall off the tree? It died.

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What player wears number 8 and plays for liverpool? Steven Gerrard

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why did the monkey cross the road? it escaped from a local zoo a block away

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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