What's the difference between a poodle and a noodle? Scaboodle!

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Q: How does a chicken get to work? A: A chicken does not go to work. Chickens can not legally be employed for any position in any country as they are chickens, are not human, and do not posses any prerequisites required to be hired for any existing employable position.

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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If I threw a regular snowball at a random snowman, would my action directly result in the increase of the snowman's size or would it rather have caused to snowball to become substantially larger in succession? Only a few people could answer that question. Not all of us are actually philosophy aficionados after all.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Come in.

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Whats funnier than a dead baby tied to a tree? Everything, infant mortality is a very sad thing.

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When life gives you lemons.... Impossible life is not a person nor a dispenser of lemons.

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Some people are like Slinkies: they don't work as well as they say they will and you'll get bored of them quickly.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Daises are yellow Azeleas are pinkish purple

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Two penguins are sitting on an ice flow. One says to the other: "hey--you know, it looks like you are wearing a tuxedo." The other one says, "who says I'm not?"

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An Admiral walks into Ackbar...

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You know what's really long? The bread lines in Africa

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What did the prostitute say to the president of the United States? Good morning Mr. President. She had managed to leave the sex industry, finished her education and was doing secretarial work in the White House.

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a horse nibbled a baby

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what does a gay horse eat heeyyyyy

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Two homeless men are baking in an oven. They scream loudly until they both die.

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What's the difference between a Lamborghini and 10 dead babies? I don't keep a Lamborghini I'm my garage

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A black man, a mexican, and a muslim all jump off a building. Who hit the ground first? Who cares!

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penus

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A Black man and a racist walk into a bar. There was a ruckus.

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whats the difference between a fat person and a skinny person ? there weight.

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What did the mime say to the girl? .......

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third koala fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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What sinks quickly to the bottom of a river? Your dead parents.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops