Q: Have you heard from that guy who dropped a piano on his head? A: No one has, he dropped a piano on his head.

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why was the 6 year old boy crying? his mother had just passed away from terminal cancer and his stepdad caught him crying so he kicke hm in the face and told him to man up.

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A blonde, a brunette and a redhead dive off a yacht. Unfortunately the yacht is in a shop and all 3 of them sustain injuries following impact with the concrete floor.

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I tell the Doctor I'm having pains in my chest. He says that sounds serious and admits me immediately to the hospital.

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3 bears walk into a market. A little girl sneaks into their house. Meanwhile, people are freaking out because there are THREE BEARS in the market.

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Why did the football coach go to the bank Answer - to get his quarter back

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Knock Knock Who's there? Banana Bananas can't talk.

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So I'm at the office and I tell this guy, "Hey can you pass me the stapler. But when you pass it over, make sure there are staples in it 'cause if not, I can't staple anything."

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Knock knock Who's there? To To who? No, Sir, it is "to whom"

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What's the difference between Megan Fox and a dead baby? I'll eat Megan Fox before I fuck her.

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What lumpy and pointy? A horny woman with breast cancer

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Q: how do you make a clean naz dance? A: put a lil boogy in it? NOOO SUCK IT!!!

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Why did the TV fall of a cliff? Because a nice man was donating it to the homeless shelter which hangs over a cliff. The man placed the TV in the back room on the floor. There was a weak spot on the floor and when the fattest homeless person walked over the floor, the floor broke which was a HUGE inconvenience because he TV and the fat man fell through the floor and over the cliff, luckily the TV was plugged in so it was hanging by the cord but an old lady with Alzheimer's forgot that there was a hole in the floor and unplugged the TV so she could clean the switches. In the end the TV fell off the cliff.

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Here's a joke, a black man walks into a store and buys something. that's it.

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A woman leaves the kitchen.

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What do you call a large group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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Why couldn't Bruce drive a truck? Cause Bruce was a Fish.

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John walked up to his dad one morning and shouted, "Dad, it's my birthday!" Dad said, "Cool, how old are you?" John says, "I'm seven!" Dad tells him to go downstairs and tell his grandpa. Johnny runs down and says, "Grandpa, it's my birthday, guess how old I am!" Grandpa sticks his? hand in John's pants and sticks his thumb into his anus. As he pulls his hand out, he pinches his penis. Grandpa says, "You're seven." John says, "How did you know?" Grandpa says, "I heard you tell your dad upstairs."

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Q: Why was the black man good at basketball? A: because he practiced

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Why was Hellen Keller afraid to answer the phone? This situation is impossible because Hellen suffered from scarlet fever, therefore she could not see or hear the phone.

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Why doesn't Michael Jackson like toast? Because he's dead

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A man works at a brick factory. He is told by his boss that if he is to steal any brick from the factory, he will be sacked. But every day the man steals one brick and puts it in his lunch box to take home and is not caught. One day he has enough bricks to build a house, and he says "When I build this house there will be none left over". The house is now built and while the man is taking a look around he stubs his toe on something, he looks down to see a brick and he sighs, picks up the brick and throws it in the air. There are two pilots driving a plane, one has a dog and one has a wardrobe. One pilot says to the other "I don't particularly like dogs" then the other pilot says to him "I don't really like wardrobes". They then make an agreement and throw both the wardrobe and the dog out the window. Five minutes later one pilot looks out the window out onto the plane wing, and guess what he sees? A brick.

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whats funny? a relatsion ship for 16 hours

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Your mother is so overweight that she decided to have liposuction and then proceeded to live a wonderful life.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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