When I get aroused I get a solid snake

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why was the old man on the floor? He fell

thumb_up thumb_down +13

I like my kids how i like my coffee I dont like coffee

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why are you reading anti-jokes? ... why are you looking at me like that? I asked you a question, idiot.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How do you make someone to shut up You tell them to SHUT UP!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you get when you mix a bulldog with a shitzu? One delicious smoothie.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because I threw him

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Did you hear about the guy with five penises? Me neither, because that sounds like a very improbable aberration.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call a mexican driving a plane? Well.. nothing because you can't drive plane's but if a Mexican man was able to FLY a plane, he would be a pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

what did the fat guy say to the girl ill make fun of you because i have bigger tits than you

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Where is boots, Dora asks Why the hell are you asking me when your the one who is with him.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How do you make pie without the oven? I dont kow, go google it.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Friends are like potatoes. If you eat them, they die.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How many freudians does it take to unscrew a light bulb? Two. One who unscrew the lightbulb and another who hold the penis....eehhh i mean ladder.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the man have an extremely large nose? It just so happens that both his father and mother had large noses as well and nature took it's course.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

You know what's bad? Running over a baby with a truck. You know what's worse? Skidding on it.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you do when a hispanic man takes your wallet? Ask him to please give the wallet back to you

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the little boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A Drumset.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

whats funny? when isreal special forces hunted down nazis after ww2 and killed the fucks

thumb_up thumb_down +13

So, a man walks into a bar. His alcoholic habits are slowly tearing apart his marriage.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Did u hear what happened to that man with no arms and no legs who tried to play water polo? No, what happened He drowned....

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 went to war and when he came back, he was really messed up. One day he took 2 into a dark alley and beat him up really badly. Now, it's not just 6 who is afraid, but everyone.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A man wakes up in his bed and looks at the clock. He realises he is gonna be late for work. He quickly gets out of bed, into the bathroom, has a shower, puts his deodorant on and brushes his teeth, gets dressed, and goes in his car. He drives out of his garage and drives to his work but gets stuck in traffic. He then gets to the car park of his work and parks his car. He gets out, goes up the elevator to his floor, when the elevator door opens to his floor, he quickly says hello to Terrance and goes to his bosses office. And guess what the boss says? You're late.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops