Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms.

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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Tom and Phill are eating ice cream Tom challenges Phill to a contest to see who can eat their ice cream in one bite Tom finishes his in two bites Phil in one Then he looks like he got a brain freeze Tom notices and says "You idiot: you got brain freeze!" Phill turns around and says "No, I have a brain tumor."

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why didn't the chicken cross the road. Because it was hit by a truck.

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how do you wake up lady gaga? you set her alarm for the intended time

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Q: What did the clown say when he got in a car accident? A: Nothing. He died.

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An alphabet walks into the post office and asks for a letter. What does the postal worker give the alphabet? Nothing. Alphabets can't walk.

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What did the dog say to the astro turf? SHUT UP!! I don't want to here your excuses, put the dishes away when you're done with them or so help me! You see the dog had been abused as a puppy and as a result he was always a bit off.

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What do you call a plane going to Africa with 100 black people on it? A plane, the contents of the plane is irrelevant...

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A Bull walks into a bar. it killed three people by the fact it was a Bull

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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who ever is reading this....

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Q. Why did the black man not get on the boat A. Because he gets seasick

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Eats shoots and leaves Pandas. If you can't figure this out then you're probably 12

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a registered sex offender

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I scream, You scream, The police come, It's awkward.

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"Knock knock!" "Who's there?" "Interrupting Owl." "Interrupting Owl who?"

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What does the cookie monster and the blue man group have in common? They are both homosexually active

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Yo mama so fat she went on a diet and steadily lost wait

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Why was the little boy crying He had a frog stapled to his head

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Autism speaks but not really

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Why is a frog green? Because it was born that way

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What's worse then getting followed by a creepy man in a van? Getting followed and raped by a creepy man in a van.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Doesn't matter get in the van.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops