How do you get a pirate out of your seat? Politely ask him to move for you were there first.

You wanna see my secret freckle? NO! How about my butt? What!!!!!!!

Why did 3 blacks guys start watching the first Star Wars movie on Saturday night? They finished the Back to the Future movies on Friday.

man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw you seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasn't that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

The WNBA

What did the mime say to the girl? .......

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it had been used as an ingredient in kung pow chicken and was on it's way via delivery boy to the house that had ordered it for a lovely evening meal

Liar liar, your dead nans carcass is on fire.

Whats worse being raped by jack the ripper or being fingered by captain hook

What did the ant say when he walked in the club. . . Nothing he was immediately stepped on.

How many pollacks does it take to screw in a lightbuld? Likely the same number as is required when people of non-polish descent screw in lightbulds. Overall however it is variable based on the number or bulbs, position of bulbs in relation to ceiling, potential shakiness of required ladder, and desired efficiency. Please reference GE's lightbuld home instillation handbook for further information or alternately contact your local electrician or handy neighbor.

What did the black man say about Linkin Park? That there's obviously a rapist in their midst and they should all be questioned.

Why did people on a plane die? Because it crashed.

I`m not as random as you think i`m salad.

Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because she is blind.

Knock knock. Who’s there? Your son. Your son who? DAD WHY CAN’T YOU ACCEPT THE FACT THAT I AM GAY!

How do you make a tissue dance? Blow a little boogie in it!

Q: A boy went to 7-11 and bought Coke instead of 7up. Why? A: I don't know

What do you call a hickey on your shoulder? Bad aim -Cooper Simpson

Why did Sally fall off her bike? Because she had no legs. Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. What did Sally get for Christmas? Cancer. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally...

(402)217-6102 that is Jesse

Why can't the T-rex clap? Because it's extinct

A man crashed his boat and is lost in the ocean. He comes across a cruise ship, and they ask if he wants help. The man says, "No. God will save me, but thanks anyway." Later on that night, he is eaten by a shark.

like most people my age. im 27

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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