Two guys walk into a bar. The third one ducks.

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A man reaches to grab a womans chest and then realizing hes gay, backs off and everyone goes home happy

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What do you call two black guys holding up a store? Really strong.

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An Ethiopian fell into an alligator infested river. He ate 7 of them before he got out.

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So I was walking down the street the other day, I went to the shop.

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The government

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What do you call a bunch of hobos having sexual intercourse? A soup kitchen

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sharks

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Q: What's worse than seeing a scorpion A: being stung by that scorpion

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall? A: Depends how hard you throw them.

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What did Joe do after the party? He went home.

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If Chuck Norris has $5 and you have $5 then all together you have $10. It was announced that the obverse portrait of Alexander Hamiliton would be replaced by the portrait of an undecided woman, starting in the year 2020. If you wait long enough, you can exchange the $10 for the new $10 bill.

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How do you kill a blonde? Shoot her in the head.

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Why did the chicken croos the road? It didnt, my father caught him and cooked him for dinner.

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What did the parrot say to the dumb man? Nothing

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What's the best part about having sex with a bunch of 3 year olds? There's 20 of them

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If a tree falls in a forest and only one women is there to hear it, does i make a sound? Trick question: there's no forests in kitchens.

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What do you call a black man standing on a podium? Slave trade

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Knock Knock JUST OPEN THE FLIPPIN DOOR ALREADY! I DON"T NEED YOU TO KNOCK AND INTRODUCE YOURSELF EVERY TIME YOU COME TO MY HOUSE!!! Jeez...seriously

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Women's Rights

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Knock knock Whos there? No one, your wife was just in a fatal car accident and died on the scene, so your kids had to walk home from school instead of being picked up. Your son Scotty was grabbed by the sexual predator 4 blocks from the school, and your daughter Sally tried to run and is now under the wheels on the bus going round and round.

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A man scratches his ankle and says " my nuts are itchy" a woman looks at him questionly. realizing he had been watched, he lifted the bottom of his pant leg and showed to woman that he had stuffed his socks with pecans.

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How many Spanish people does it take to screw in a light bulb? Uno

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What bird can lift the most? i do not know, I suggest asking an Ornithologist

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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