What would a prostitute do if she was given a million dollars? She would probably diversify her portfolio. First, she would pay her rent. She would buy some groceries and a present for her mother. She would then invest it in stocks and low-yield bonds. She would they buy a vehicle. This win might not affect her continuance in her job.

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What happened to the man who had the most loving parents and family when he was born, had an amazing childhood which he shared with so many good friends, was loved everywhere, helped the poor, started a fundraiser for starving kids in africa, got a college education, helped a complete stranger get off his drug addiction, married a beautiful woman, bought a nice house and had 3 children who he loved dearly and spent time with as much as he possibly could, tucked them in every night and enjoyed every second of his life as if it was his last? He died.

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Cacti are green Clouds are white Spoons are silver Corn is yellow Carrots are orange Asphalt is black Grapes are purple Cinnamon is brown Lets's have sex

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There are 2 women at a bus stop. One of them has a swollen belly. The pregnant woman says to the other one, "I'm expecting a baby." The other woman responds, "That's too bad. I'm expecting a bus, at least that'll help me."

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Q: Billy has 47 pieces of cake, he eats 38. What does he have left? A: Diabetes

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How do you know that someone is polish ? They smell funny

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why shouldn't you get a clown angry? Because they'll yell at you.

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What did the little boy want to be when he grew up? Dead.

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What kind of condoms do cows use? None.

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Whats worse than bieber fever? A yeast infection.

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I told a priest that I would never believe in anything greater than myself. He said I had the God complex, that I was grandios. I stared him in the eye and asked, "how highly do you think of me? Thank you" and left.

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whats the difference between a dead baby and a trampoline? I take my shoes off to jump on the trampoline

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Q. How many trees does it take to change a light bulb? A. Trees can't change light bulbs.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple Getting raped by a hose

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Ask me if im a tree? No

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Tough crowd tonight...

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Why did the little boy cry? His entire family was shot and killed at his elementary school play including his 6 year old sister who has down syndrome.

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black people

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*ahem* what? what. oh I thought you said something

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Why did the constipated man go to the bathroom? To intentionally throw up; he has an eating disorder.

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What did the Jew say right before a boy threw a quarter in a fountain? Make a wish.

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how do you boil oil? add b to oil

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Why did the kid cross the road? To show his friends that he had guts. And man, did he have guts.

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Why was the kid running around? He was on fire

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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