There are two muffins in the oven. One says: "It's really getting hot in here!" The other one can't reply because it is already dead.

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How do you make a plumber sad? You murder his family.

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What looks like poo but is rainbow colored? Rainbow colored poo.

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Why didn't the parakeet eat my diarrhea? I already ate it.

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why did the chicken cross the road it didnt

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Roeses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, My Name Is Dave, Microwave

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What did Delaware? A coat.

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It's weird how two of the SAME jokes can get different ratings.

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Your mama's so nice, she made me cookies once. And I enjoyed them.

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Why did the blonde blow up? She ate a bomb.

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what has 52 teeth and holds back a monster? my zipper

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"I just don't understand the difference between yours and mines." "Well, you see, yours belong to you, whereas mines explode when you step on them."

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you're so stupid, you have trouble understanding what you read, like the newspaper, for example

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She got shot in the head by her drunk step-dad.

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What is white and can't climb trees? Toothpaste.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke-'er-face

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Today, I found out that my parents are first cousins

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KONY 2012! *world rises up cheering in spontaneous patriotism for Africa* Leader of KONY 2012 arrested for public masturbation

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When life gives you melons, your probably dyslexic.

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What's the difference between a McDonald's and Michael Jackson? One is a fast FOOD restaurant, while the other likes having sex with little boys.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Get in the Batmobile.

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Why did timmy's face turn red? Early that morning Timmy was brutally attacked by the local street gang which proceeded to smack timmy's face with a baseball bat and smearing the blood with a dirty rag.

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A blinde and brunette are stranded on an island. They are never found and starve to death.

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roses are red, violets are violet.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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