Q:How many pancakes can you fit on top of as doghouse? A:Purple. Because ice cream has no bones.....

Knock Knock Who's there? Orange

Two muffins are in an oven. After a set period of time, they finish baking and are enjoyed by the family who had made them. Two weeks later the eldest daughter contracts syphilis thanks to numerous sexual partners. She soon dies leaving her parents and brother depressed. Her brother is kidnapped by a viscous child predator and the mother commits suicide. The father gets a job with the New York Yankees. He is eaten by a genetically modified zebra.

whats worse than gill? nothing

How do you kill a blonde? You shoot them in the head with a revolver.

Why did Colussi miss school for 2 years? -Because he died

Your mother is so fat that when she sits around the house, she feels bad about herself but is too embarrassed to get a gym membership and work-out in public.

what did the hobo as the other hobo? do u have any cheese?

why did the kid drop his ice cream? because he got ran over by a bus! (not a original, just funny)

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? George Bush

NO ONE LIKES RANGAS

Jewwy Jewstein

These are some questions you should never ask on a first date: When you wipe do you throw your toilet tissue in the toilet or on a trash can? Do you smell your hands after you wipe? Do you you ever look down when you take a dump and see it come out? Have you ever picked your butt and then picked your nose with the same finger?

This is a stupid joke. Get it to the top of the list and Kobe Bryant will pass to you.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Who's there?

When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then watch the world as they wonder how you did it

Why did Jessy crawl to her bed? Because she has no legs.

-Knock Knock -Who's there? -John. -Hey John, come on in.

how do you spend all your money you go buy stuff

Q: What's blue and smells like grass? A: Blue grass.

What sound does a snail make? Meow....... Think hard and you'll get it

George Washington, a priest, a nazi and a jew are on a plane that's going to crash. There is only one parachute. George Washington says "For my country" and jumps off without a parachute. The priest says "For God" and jumps off without a parachute. The nazi says "For Hitler" and pushes the jew off and takes the parachute.

What's worse than being named SAID? Having AIDS.. And getting a bee sting - it hurts like ****!

Friend: Hey dude, you wanna come to my house after school and do some Meth? Other Friend: Nah I dont wanna get scabs all over my skin, disgusting teeth, and im not in the mood for dying early. Im good here.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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