How do you get a one armed clown out of a tree? Hit it in the face with an axe.

Roses are red Violets are blue If i gave a rats ass I'd worry about you

why were maddie and maddy and rachel and jill all friends? we all enjoy pizza

your mommas so fat because she has diabetes

What is the difference between Jews and boy scouts? Jews are a religious group. Boy scouts are a group of boys who enjoy camping and other outdoor activities.

Why did the cat bite its owner? Because the owner had been dead for several days and the cat was locked in the house with nothing else to eat.

Eliz, Neo-Nero, its me Clint, had to fake my death for some years in order to get back to the order. Neo, I know Nero picked you as his successor, but honestly, I was his first choice, and I know you well enough to understand that things are getting out of hand over there. I will be there in 2 minutes Liz and you and I can meet up Neo, seriously what are you doing over there? Unless there is a problem do not bother answering, allow me to take charge of operations at least until tou calm down Neo, and unless you got problems with my absent authority I suggest you stop torturing people at once, and seriously if you cannot control your own people, you better let me back in charge. It is time to turn some things around guys, believe it or not but I found where the Spetz came from and I got em all, as for the Nazi scum they where just hired thugs and as far as my Intel goes most of those where taken down by Nero. Clint Lawman. Moral: "WTF? THESE ARE NOT EVEN MORALS! NO THESE ARE THE CODES WE USED TO AUTHENTICATE THE SOURCE AND SENDER OMG! ORLY? SRLSLY? LOL OMG!"

Five people all from different backgrounds get in a car and nobody get's raped.

*Knock knock! "Who's there?" "Jehovah's witness" .....

Why is lewis rank gay Coz he is

How did the baby cross the road? .......... It was stapled to the chicken.

Why did sally fall off the swing? she had no arms of legs. Knock Knock Whos there? Not sally.

you mooma's like a bowling bowl i pick her up finger her throw her down the gutter and she still comes back for more

you go up your hole down your hole between your hole and you rock and roll

what did the boy say when his friend was having a panic attack? "don't panic!" rather earnestly in the hope that his friend's breathing returned to normal as panic attacks can be very uncomfortable and place too great a strain upon the cardio and respiratory functions.

The joke below this comment is stupid. Lets go Mets

Why did the girl fall off of her swing? Because she had no arms.

how do you know your sister is on her period? you dads dick taste like blood.

If the best things in life are free, whats the hardest things in life? Death.

Why did the chicken commit suicide? To get to the other side.

Why wouldn't the baby boy stop crying when the babysitter was in the room? Because he put cigarettes out on him.

Roses are red. Violets are blue. Everything I did, Was just a mistake like you.

Why did the Asian eat rice? Because its food

Come on children, don't dawdle.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


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MOAR??

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