Where did Susie go when her town was bombed? Everywhere.

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Me: Ask my if I'm a secret agent. You: Are you a secret agent? Me: I cannot disclose that information.

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How do you get a blonde out of a tree? Shoot her in the head.

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Why did the priest blow a kiss and waved to the little girl? She was his daughter. Why did the daughter's mother call the cops on the priest? Child support

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whats long and stretchy? elastic

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Whats great about F***ing twenty one year olds? There's twenty of them.

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A boy walks into his friend's house for a party. While he waits for his friends to return from the bar he realizes there are many people waiting in different lines for various kinds of drinks. After his friends return he decides he does not want any of the carbonated drinks they had ordered, instead he chooses to wait in the fruit punch line. There is no punch line.

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What is a homeless man for Halloween? A garbage bag

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What is long and black? The line at KFC

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more chocolate?

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she has no arms.

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A guy jumps off a cliff and does a reasonable thing, scream to his death.

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why did justin go to maddie parris house to fuck her.....

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What do you get when you cross a chicken and a fox? An eaten chicken.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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KOOKABURRA

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the Batmobile? Robin, get into the Batmobile.

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Why can't Kim and Arnold get childern ? because they are 2 stones.

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what did chloe say to alexis? you took my phone

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These are some questions you should never ask on a first date: When you wipe do you throw your toilet tissue in the toilet or on a trash can? Do you smell your hands after you wipe? Do you you ever look down when you take a dump and see it come out? Have you ever picked your butt and then picked your nose with the same finger?

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how many babies dose it take to paint a fence it depends on how hard you throw them

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brittney griner

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What's brown and green, has six legs and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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Why did the beautiful woman marry the ugly poor old man? She was blonde & was therefor not aware that he wasn't rich nor younge.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops