Your mother is so fat that when she looks in the mirror she is deeply upset by her appearance.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A drum set.

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Whats slippery and wet? A wet slipper.

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What do you call a blind man on a jet ski? Dead.

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Q: What's purple and flies? A: Super Grape

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Do you have to make frequent trips to the bathroom? Do you have a weak or broken stream? Do you leave the bathroom feeling satisfied? Do your frequent trips to the bathroom interrupt everyday activities? Well you should take Lunesta and just sleep. Then you wouldn't have this problem.

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why did the kid fall down the stairs? he had polio

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What do Kim Kardashian, Paris Hilton, and Pamela Anderson all have in common? All of their last names end with an "n"

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? It wasnt due to the fact that numbers have no feeling.

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Getting an STD. What's worse than mixing up the order of the joke and the punchline?

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What is you problem!? Im retarded, what is your problem?

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what happened to the baseball player who couldnt throw? he was very unsuccessful, as throwing is the most important skill of the game

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What does a gay horse eat? Low-energy foods should only be fed to horses who are not regularly being worked and participating in high performance. According to the University of Kentucky's College of Agriculture, energy is vital to horses who need to perform their best as it aids many of the body's functions including muscle contraction, respiration and circulation. Only feed a low-energy diet to an idle horse and feed a high-energy diet to an older or sickly horse and to a working horse.

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Whats Brown and Sticky A) a stick

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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whats funnier than a joke? A: a funnier joke

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A man came home one day, drunk and feeling horny. He proceeded to the bedroom where he found his wife just getting into bed in a lace bra and sexy underwear. This turned him on even more so he cuddled up to her and whispered seductivly in her ear before kissing her neck. His wife was not in the mood for sex so she shot him

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Who is worse then Charlie Sheen? Hitler.

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Two muffins were in a microwave. One muffin said, 'It's getting hot in here." What did the other muffin say? Nothing, muffins can't talk.

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Roses are Red Violets are blue You little stupid ass bitch I ain't fucking with you

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Why did the little girl cry? Because she had just witnessed the slaughter of her entire family and friends in front of her eye, leaving her not only peerless and alone, but also with the mental scars which come with witnessing such a harrowing ordeal.

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What does Steven Hawking and Justin Bieber have in common? Absolutely nothing.

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What do you call a cat at the bottom of the ocean? A cat.

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Whats the difference between a Duck? One of its legs are both the same.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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