If it wasn't for my horse I'd never go to college.

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The patient says, "Give me the bad news first!" Doctor replies, "You've got AIDS." "Oh, no! What could be worse than that?" asks the patient. "You've also got Alzheimer's Disease." Looking relieved the patient says, 'at least it shall be over quickly.'

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because he had legs.

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A man with tourettes walks into a bar, due to his disease he shouts unexpected profanities across the room; everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the pressure anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom and pulls out a gun and points it at his head. HIs wife of 15 years walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to conceive. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man diagnosed with touretts then goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. After he killed everybody he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentanced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man with touretts still cannot control his ticks and rots in jail everyday screaming obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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Why was the black guy charged for murder? He killed his wife.

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Hello! Echo! My name is Ed!

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what happens when a girl poops? she wipes her butt.

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He had no distinguishing characteristics whatsoever.

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: It was dead. Q: Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? A: It was stapled to the first one. Q: Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? A: Peer pressure.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a serial rapist.

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Why did Michael dye. Because he was dyslexic and a plain fell on his noggin.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Solely for our entertainment purposes.

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What do Ethiopians do at night? Starve.

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when geese fly in a v formation, why is one side always longer then the other? Because you touch yourself at night...

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A man walks into a bar. He says "ow."

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A man walks into a bar. The barman says, 'why the lo-, wait, i thought you was that horse again.'

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Why did Martian Luther King climb the mountain? Because there was a KFC on top

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why did the plant eat a banana? it was hungry

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roses are red violets are blue i am retarded i like pancakes

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What was the motto of the Holocaust? Yolo.

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Cancer

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Cum on guys....gay jokes are mean

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Why couldn't the Joker browse the internet? He was using Compuserve.

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Whats In My Trash? Bears

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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