who holds the world record for longest amount of time on fire? Jim Rome

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what did batman say to robin before they got into the batmibile "get in the batmoblie"

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Why did the boy wear glasses? Because he had bad eyesight.

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What do you do when a hispanic man takes your wallet? Ask him to please give the wallet back to you

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Do you ride the bus to school or do you take your lunch?

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A man adopts an orphan. He waits till the child is a teenager to tell the news. He then commits suicide as to scar the child emotionally for the rest of its life.

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Q. What did the pedophile get when he went to jail? A. Exactly what he wanted.

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what do JFK, plato, and a dead penguin have in common? theyre all dead.

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A man walks into a bar... he is blind so it isn't funny

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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Whats black and white and red all over. A penguin in a blender.

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What's worse than a stain on your carpet? Two stains on your carpet

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Whats the difference between a bong and a nigger? My bong works

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? Because it thought that it would somehow increase its chances of survival.

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What's the difference between a Corvette and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Corvette in my garage.

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Why was the black man in the hotel so upset? I shit on his chest.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Scott Scott who? Scott Henderson. Oh my god Scotty! I haven't seen you since highschool, please come in.

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Why did the man starve to death? He had no food.

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(Pretend you're an orphan.) Knock knock. Who's there? Not your parents.

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How many freudians does it take to unscrew a light bulb? Two. One who unscrew the lightbulb and another who hold the penis....eehhh i mean ladder.

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Why do vampires suck blood? Because they re crazy.

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How do you get a Virginia graduate off of your porch? Pay him for the pizza

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Jamie stegman has no life he is a nerd while his sister is giving him a z-j while jacob comes in and starts rubbing the lamp and then the crazy man ate the orange then farted in all of there face. NeonFAILsky xoxo

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops