Cows are land manatees.

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Why did steve cry? Because he got punched.

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A man walks into a bar. He backs up, unwraps it, and enjoys its chocolatey deliciousness.

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What do you call an englishman who wakes up in Africa Confused

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Q) What did the Hobo get for Xmas? A) Nothing

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What did the mime say to the girl? .......

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What did the little boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer What did he get the next year? Nothing he didn't make it that far

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What's the difference between a fat man and a little boy? Despite the fact that they were dropped on two different cities, one was made out of uranium, the other was made out of plutonium.

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what do you call a deer with no eyes? no eye deer! -jpow

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What has 3 legs? An abnormal human.

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What's worse than stepping on chewing gum A clown throwing bricks at orphans

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What kinds of children go to heaven dead ones

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Q: What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? A: Being caught by the store manager, arrested, convicted, and thrown into jail for petty theft and then getting anally raped for the next 3 months all because you wanted to check an apple without paying for it.

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What did Al gore say after he sold his TV Station to Arab Oil Money? HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. CHA-CHING!

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Did you hear about Osama Bin Laden? Well, he's dead.

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Know what people hated the most? 9-11

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What do you call a magic owl? HOODINI only some will get it...

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Q: what did the man with a broken jaw say? A: nnamkkiuuiriwojjkmgfmls!!!!

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why was the black man wearing a ski mask? he was skiing.

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There once was a man from Peru. Who dreamed he was eating his shoe. I shot him in the head. With a bullet made of lead. And now he's dead. No more shoe ingestion

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So I was walking down the road today

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what has two eyes and a face? the 5 year old who got raped on his way back home last night.

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Why did the lion get lost? Because the jungle is massive

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Two guys walk into a bar; A Mexican and a Canadian. The Mexican guy says "Bartender, give me a 2 shots of Tequila, por favor". The Canadian guy says "Bartender, give me a shot of Club and a Molson, eh". They continue to drink until neither can feel the crippling pain of their mundane lives - then they each leave the bar, walk home and sleep alone.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops