how do you wake up lady gaga? you set her alarm for the intended time

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What's black and white and red all over? A referee eating a red Popsicle on a hot summers day.

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A banker makes some poor economic investments with other people's money. turns out the people can never get the money back. the banker walks away like nothing happened. the government does nothing to prosecute the man. Somewhere in there his wife leaves him.

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what does hi = good by cause person doesn't like you.

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A young man was lost wandering in a field, when he came upon a small house. He knocked on the door and was greeted by a scary southern man with a shotgun in hands. "I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?" "Certainly," the man said, "but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter, I will shoot you with this shotgun." He couldn't have sex with the daughter anyway because he has severe erectile dysfunction.

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what happend to the kid standing on a railway, he got hit by a train

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Who needs god when coffee is cheaper

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Q: what is socialism? A: a terrible system

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What's red and curly and goes 100km an hour? Palfi in a blender

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what has two legs and is red all over? half a cat

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Why didn't the hispanic muslim woman vote for Donald Trump in the 2016 primaries? Because she lives in Connecticut where the primaries have not yet taken place.

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What do accountants do when they're constipated? Take a laxative and eat plenty of fiber.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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How many apes does it take to put in a light bulb 3

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Want to hear the funniest joke in the world? I forget how it goes but it ends with the abolishment of slavery.

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SCENE: A prirate walks into a bar with the wheel of the ship attached to his pants. BARTENDER: Doesn't that hurt? PIRATE: Aye! It drives me nuts.

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What is a dead cat on the side of the road. A free cat.

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chirs

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Where do fat girls go to eat doughnuts? Jenny Craig

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What did the boy say after he got hit by a bus? Nothing. He's dead.

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your moms my other ride

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Polly went out for a fag. Then she was raped.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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Q:What would strawberry short cake never say? A: Very

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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