A man is walking in the desert, alone and lost, when suddenly he finds a lamp. The man picks up the lamp and to his surprise, a genie bursts out of the lamp ! The genie says to the man: "Thank you, kind man! You have freed me from this prison I have been in for a million years. I am in your dept and will grant you three wishes." The man replies: "Wow, you've been in there for a million years and all you have to give me are three wishes?" The genie was really sad to hear of the man's lack of appreciation and flew away, leaving the man. The man eventually died of starvation and dehydration.

What did the doctor say to the recently diagnosed AIDS patient? I'm sorry there is nothing we can do.

What color was the fence before it was painted green? Not green.

Q-what did the black man say before he crossed the road? A-i wanna cross the road.

being drunk in a mall sounds like it would be alot of fun . . . . . . . but that is public intoxication and that is against the law

what happend when the little boy went on the rollercoaster ? It crashed.

Knock, Knock.. Whose there? Its the Census Man!!

What's the difference between a bird and a wheel? They both fly, I lied about the wheel.

What's the difference between a truckload of bowling balls and a truckload of dead babies? You can't unload a truckload of bowling balls with a pitchfork.

What did the elephant say to the whale? Nothing, neither can talk and they live in very different biomes.

Why was the boy running There was a giraffe chasing him

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

whats fluffy and pink? -pink fluff whats blue and fluffy? -pink fluff holding its breath.

how do u get a bonar? u look at your mum!!

why did Suzy play jump rope with the neighbors kids? She had no legs!

What did Helen Keller say when she got raped? Stop raping me.

Why did the circus clown lose his balance? He had a seizure while on his unicycle, fell off, and bumped his head, leading to significant blunt trauma in the brain. Weeks later, after waking up from a coma, the doctors discover that he can no longer speak anything other than gibberish. His friends and family decide that he cannot go on living this way and decide to pull the plug.

Why did Colussi miss 2 years of school? -Because he died

knock knock. who's there? your neighbor. o hi come one in!

2 + 2 = fish

what do they do to dead Mexicans? skin them and make them in to wet suites.

A man goes to the doctor. The doctor says, I'm sorry but you have about four to six months to live. The man goes home and checks his million dollar life insurance policy.It expires in three months.

*insert lame joke stolen from the top 10 jokes and think it's original because I changed one word*

What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable? Finishing the wheelchair.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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