While walking along the beach, a man stubs his toe on a half buried lamp. He picks it up, dusts it off, and a enormous Genie appears in front of him. "You have released me from my 10,000 year imprisonment. I will grant you 3 wishes to repay you." says the Genie. The man quickly uses his 1st wish for wealth and the 2nd for the love of a beautiful woman. Unable to think of a 3rd wish and seeing the sunken look on the Genie's face, he wished for the Genie's freedom. The Genie uses his unrestrained powers to kill the man, resurrect Hitler and enslave the human race.

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His Royal Highness was hunting in the forest accompanied by his squires and hunting dogs. A man, screaming, ran wildly out of the brush and addressed the hunting party. He said, "DON'T SHOOT! I AM NOT A MOOSE!! PLEASE DO NOT SHOOT!!!!" The king calmly raised his rifle to his eye and fired, hitting the man in the temple, and instantly killing him. A squire frantically turned to the king and said "Sire! Why did you kill this man?! He CLEARLY said he was not a moose!" The King replied "Oh! I thought he said he WAS a moose..."

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Why didn't the girl take her hairbrush to school? She has cancer and all her hair fell out.

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Q. What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? A. Robin, get in the car.

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What happens to a black man when he jumps into a pool of clorox? He turns white!

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What did one tree say to the other? "Hey Phil, how's it going?

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What did Superman say when he forgot his cape? "Where's my cape?"

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What's the difference between 10 dead babies and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage..

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Knock Knock Whose there? Its John

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compardre No Pew.. Pew.. At mi OINK.. OINKs...

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Three blondes walk into a bar...and have a nice evening, until one of them pulls out a gun and murders everyone at the bar, i think she was schizophrenic or something.

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A walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Why the long face?" Not getting a response, the disoriented bartender realizes he was talking to his own reflection in the mirror at the back of the bar.

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What do you call a deaf-black man that professionally generates maps of the world? A cartographer.

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A black guy walks into a bar orders his drink and could not do it in a more civilized way

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hy-way is-way is-thay oke-jay pelled-say eird-way? ecause-bay its-way in-way IGLATIN-PAY

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How do you fit four gay men on a bar stool? You build an exceptionally large bar stool

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Whats black and has white cream in it? Oreos

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Knock Knock? Who's there? How did you know it was me?

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Roses are grey, Violets are grey, I am a dog.

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How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen take? Enough to give him a bad reputation, but not enough to kill him

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kill yourself

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Onions are like loved ones... They are both nouns. And you cry when you cut into them.

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an orange and an apple are both in a fruit bowl, the apple says nothing as its an apple and apple's cant speak its just an apple

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What do you call a fly without wings? Injured and left for dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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