How do you get a pirate out of your seat? Politely ask him to move for you were there first.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

You know what is funny about r.ape? Nothing. It's horror

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What do you call a black man who goes to college? A scholar.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? No, but considering there has not been a single man to walk on the moon since 1972, it'd be difficult to generate any kind of revenue on this natural satellite.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Think of a number between 2 and 10? 3.141592653589793238462643383279502884197169399375105820974944592307816406286 208998628034825342117067982148086513282306647093844609550582231725359408128481 11745028410270193852110555964462294895493038

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What do Ethiopians do at night? Starve

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What's the difference between an iPhone and a Samsung Galaxy? Google it, there are many differences.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Why was the little boy upset? He was on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Why did your mom cross the road? She Tripped and started rolling

thumb_up thumb_down +37

I haven't made a school shooting joke yet, but the day is young Just like those kids that got shot

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Q : How many babies do you need to paint a wall A : It depends on how hard you throw

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What did the apple say to the banana. Nothing fruits cant talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What do you call a man with a spade in his head? An ambulance.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

what are the three types of rings? -wedding ring -engagement ring -suffering

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Why was the jewish boy sad? He had no friends.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

I like pancakes. I like pancakes. We have no pancakes

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why did 3 blacks guys start watching the first Star Wars movie on Saturday night? They finished the Back to the Future movies on Friday.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Whats worse than finding an worm in your apple? 1942 BERLIN

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What do George Washington, JFK and Hillary Clinton have in common? They've never been to my house.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

theres a mexican women and a black man in a car....whos driving? nobody sadly the driver was shot.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

A horse walks into the bar. The bartender asks "why the long face" Turns out the horse's family died that evening.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

If I had a penny for every time I said the word "the" I would have AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Q. What's the best thing to do before you get in a car accident? A. There's actually not much you can do in a car accident, considering you probably will never expect it, and it happens relatively too fast to react.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops