what do you call a black man flying a plane? a pilot. what do you call a woman flying a plane? 9/11.

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What's faster than a black man carrying your TV? The law enforcement that promptly catches him and is about to charges him with theft regardless of his ethnicity because stealing someone else's property is just generally an unlawful thing to do.

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there are 2 sausages in a pan. one sausage says "wow it's hot in here" and the other sausage says "MY GOD A TALKING SAUSAGE!!!!"

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What's purple and has four wheels? A frog, except for the purple and four wheels part.

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A teenage girl walks into a dark alley. She emerges on the other side completely unharmed.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The horses name was Friday.

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what did the man say to the doctor? how the hell would i know, ask him yourself.

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When life gives you melons, your probably dyslexic.

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Did you know Hellen Keller had a swingset? No I didn't. Ya it was actually really nice.

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A man went to the doctor with a strange complaint. "Well it's like this Doc, when I drive to work in the morning through the country lanes I start to sing 'The green green grass of home'. If I see a cat then it's 'What's new, pussy cat?'. It's so embarrassing, even when I'm asleep and dreaming, I still keep singing. Last night, it was 'Delilah', and my wife was not amused!" "Yes, it would apear that you have the early symptoms of Tom Jones syndrome." "Well I've never heard of that, is it common?" asked the man. "Yes," replied the doctor, "It is very uncommon."

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What is yellow and corny? Corn.

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why was the woman crying? her son killed 5 people.

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PLEASE LIKE TO DONATE 50 CENTS TO MY CHARIDY .... SAVE THE PENGUINS IN AFRICA -BY LUKE BRANIFF

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What do you call a black man that flies a plane? -A pilot

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What's the difference between you and a bucket full of shit? The bucket...

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National security?

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There were two ducks in a bathtub. One duck says to the other, "Pass me the soap" The other duck replies, "What do i look like, a toaster?"

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Sometimes sentences just don't end the way that you think they potato

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What day comes after Friday? Saturday, and Sunday comes afterwards.

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HURT

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What's brown and sticky? 'Brown' is a colour, and 'sticky' is a consistency. Please try and use correct grammar.

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police are looking for max 'cheesehead' harrison

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What did Abe Lincoln say after a 3 day drunk? "I set WHO free?"

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what's brown and sticky A stick!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops