Why doesn't Santa Claus like cantaloupe? Because he doesn't exist. You have to exist to like cantaloupe.

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How did the boyfriend react when the girlfriend told him she was pregnant? Nothing.. He already changed his number and packed up his things and moved out of the state

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Knock Knock! Whos There? Paul Okay I was expecting you

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A tree falls in the woods. A deaf boy, who had been frolicking through the forest, is struck down by the tree. He dies. His parents are ridden with grief for years, until finally the father commits suicide. The mother soon remarried and had two more children. Both died before the age of 15. She was a horrible mother.

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What happens if you roll a nickel down a street in Mexico? It eventually stops and lands on its side.

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Why did the chicken cross the street? To get to your house. Knock Knock Who is there. The chicken.

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2 men walked into a bar. the other one ducked.

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What do you get if you give a black man more than 5 watermelons? Jeff the Killer.

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Whats better than ten dead babys in one trashcan??? One dead baby in ten trashcans.

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Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere. - Blake Woodman

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How do you kill half the Mexican population? through a penny of a cliff. How do you kill the other half? Tell them its still down there.

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Why was the Energizer Bunny arrested? He was found guilty of two acts of murder in the first degree.

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Q: how do u wake lady gaga up? A: you poke-poke poke her face.

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Chrysanthemums our orange violettes are musical

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If an old person falls in the middle of the woods do they make a sound? No their died.

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Q: Whats the difference between a baby and a tire swing? A: I don't have a tire swing hanging in my backyard.

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How do you kill two birds with one stone. You don't its not humanly possible because birds cannot be killed with rocks.

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I hate it when people talk about concentration camps... my grandad died in one He fell off the guard tower

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When I grow up, I don't want to be a therapist. I have enough trouble figuring out the problems in my math book.

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why did the asian kid do well on his math test because he studied

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What did my wife say when I asked her to pick up some milk on her way home from work? OK

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Why was the dog crying? Do dogs even cry?

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Why do Christian protest against gay marriage? They protest because they believe gay marriage is a sin.

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how many dead babies can you fit into a blender? 17 how do you get them out? Tortilla chips, but you'd be arrested by that time anyway because you just murdered 17 babies

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops