What did your mother say after I beat her? Nothing, because she was dead.

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Steven Hawking walks into a bar everyone is amazed because the surgery he just got cured his parilization

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i have two hands.

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A man called the police and was later arrested for murdering himself,

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What do you call an apple in a washing machine? My lunch!

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You might be a redneck if you're from a rural area and behave as such.

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A man walks into a bar. He has a serious drinking problem and is destroying his life.

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a man walks into a bar and has a drink james

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How are a dead chicken and a woman alike? They both belong in the kitchen

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A father was angry at his daughter's boyfriend because he took her virginity. The boyfriend said he was ashamed that he never told her he has AIDS.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know.

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a man says "whats shakin bakin" to a friend, but his friend was shaking, because he often has seizures... thats what was shakin

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient ability. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Wigan.

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How do you fit an elephant inside your car?: Starve it to death, then chop it in pieces.

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why did the kid get home from school early cause he was home from school..

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whats bloop with an m? matthew

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Q: what's the difference between a young, geeky kid living in Wisconsin's basketball and Yao Ming's basketball? A: young, geeky kids cannot live in Wisconsin's basketball. Wisconsin is a state, and states cannot own objects because they aren't sentient beings. And Yao Ming's basketball... is just a regular basketball that happens to be owned by Yao Ming.

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As friend of mine recently told me that he knew my deepest darkest secret. When I asked him what it was, he said that I was too emotionally unstable, and that I would never be ready to settle down. I killed him.

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A: My dog has no nose. B: How does it smell? A: Terrible.

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Three Arabian men are on a plane, they stand up, and shout BOMB, BOMB, BOMB! All three have Tourettes.

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Knock, knock! Who's there?! Your Mom! Your Mom who? No really. Let me in.

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Why did the stereo break? Cause little Johnny threw a bat at it.

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a mother: my little boy always asks me to take him to see dinosaurs...but they are extinct. me: take him to a museum you dumb bitch!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops