Yo momma so pretty,she gets a lot of compliments.

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Winter

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, What else is new?

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What's worse than stubbing your toe? Bees inside of your eyeballs.

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Person 1: Why do Jews have big noses? Person 2: Why? Person 1: No, I was asking you that question. Person 2: ??!!

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar.

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A man walked into a bar. He said ow.

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What is funnier than an anti-joke? My SAT scores.

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What do you call 25 college teens at a party? A good time.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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What do you call an old widow with 12 cats? Forever alone.

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A chemist and his buddy walk into a bar. The chemist, trying to sound smart, says, "I would like a glass of H20." The buddy, being a normal person who actually cares if he looks like an idiot, asks for plain water.

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Q:Why didnt the stoner go to college? A:Because he died of lung cancer.

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-Hey I know something funnier than 24, ---What? -25! Hey I know something funnier than 25. ---What? -The Holocaust!

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An Indian lady is pushing her child down a footpath in a stroller whilst leading her dog. A refridgerator lands on the mother. Why did the Chinese man behind her cry? Because loss of life is a frantic event and having witnessed such an event he was deeply shocked. He was also sad that no dogs were killed. This is because a dog killed his wife in a freak accident and he has held a grudge against the species ever since.

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How do you get a dog and a baby mixed up? You stir your chili.

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Why was the woman crying? Because I hit her with a bat.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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From a picture, it is difficult to tell the difference between an apatosaurus and a diplodocus.

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what did God say on the 7th day? -zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

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a woman leaves the kitchen.......

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A: Knock knock B: Who's there? A: Doctor B: Doctor who? A: Doctor Johnson, i'm here to check up on you. How's the medication going? B: It's going well thank you, it's working. A: That's very good to hear. Hope you recover soon. B: Thank you!

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Why didn't Angie die when she jumped off the Empire State Building? She landed on a pancake

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Two muffins are baking in an oven. What does one say to the other? Nothing. They are both inanimate objects and can't speak.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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