Imagine a scenario Add a Rhubarb Crumble into your scenario Add your mother and father sitting together watching the news in your scenario. Your scenario should take place in an old people's home Add an Olympic athlete doing the splits into your scenario If there were any crane-flies in your scenario, be sure to subtract them at once. Divide your scenario by two. Your scenario should now be a mental image of flying horses and a hippopotamus eating a large salmon mousse. There will be a pig tied to a pair of sunglasses.

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what is the difference between the dead baby and the sandwich? i don't put my penis into the sandwich before i eat it.

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yo mamas so dumb she named her house butt and her son crack and then she called the police saying I looked all over my butt and i can not find my crack.

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Thats a real shame. How come your eyes are red to begin with? You can use hypnosis to change the color, but if you never learned how, I am not gonna teach you.

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Why did the woman call 911? Fire.

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What's got eight legs and one eye? Two chairs and half a pigs head.

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Q:What happened when Smokey the Bear was the one who started the forest fire? A: He got arrested just like you would have

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Why did they use the phone as a football? Because it was a phone-ball.

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In Soviet Russia, this type of joke would be considered evidence to throw you into the gulag.

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Why did man lay down? His dog ate his genitals.

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What did the vegetarian order for lunch? A dead baby.

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What do you call a smart blond? A golden retriever!

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Why didn't the Irishman want to drink anymore? Because he wasn't thirsty.

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What did Batman say to Robin before getting in the Batmobile? "Robin, please, get in the Batmobile

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A pink bird and a pink elephant was out flying. Then something happened.

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how do you kill a man? slowly saw off all their limbs and then jump up and down on the torso and let all the organs fly out

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How do you teach an asian baby to read? Enroll him in a good pre-school and practice regularly.

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whats the similarities between an xbox and michael jackson? there both made of plastic and they both get turned on by children

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A guy starts writing a gag for a joke site. But then he couldn't think of a punchline.

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John: Hey Pablo why are you standing outside Home Depot. Pablo: Because I work here.

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2 big black men walked up to me with baseball bats. they politely asked me if i wanted to join their friendly game of baseball

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Why did the cow fall Cause a fat kid pushed him over

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why did the little boy cross the road? because he had been raped.

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Why do white people go to black people's yard sales? Because they know they sale good quality stuff -Travis

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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