whats one plus one penis

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Why can't girls count to seventy? Trick question. Clinical research has proven that a fair amount of girls are, in fact, capable of counting from one to seventy using ordinal numbers in the Arabic numeral system.

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What would you do if the house you're sitting in now exploded? Nothing really, you would have died a horrible death.

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If Abraham Lincoln were alive today, he'd be really really old.

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No, you think faster smarter and harder than everyone I know, you change and adapt faster for each day, sometimes I just think one has to stop asking oneself what makes one happy, and simply choose to be happy.

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Why was the mexican being lazy? Because he lead a very successful life and retired early and now can enjoy the luxury of the finer things in life.

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A. Knock, Knock B. Come in

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The eighties called They were pretty exited about inventing a telephone that can call the future

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Why doesn't a chicken wear pants? Because, there are no tailors in the area who make pants suitable for chickens to wear.

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Why was the American patriot sad that Bin-Laden was killed? Because he wanted to take him back to America to touture him.

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The king asked the jester why was he not telling jokes. He wasn't because he's a jester and therefore is obligated to be funny.

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A Jewish man with a 20 mile boner walks into a wall. Which body part hits the wall first? His nose

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Whats Black and White and Red all over ? A Zebra laying in a pool of its own blood.

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we should name the next hurricane alex rodriguez so it dosent hit any thing

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what do you call a joke that makes no sense? a joke that makes no sense

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Why does 1 + 1 = 2? ....seriously P

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Susan boyle has a belly button, Simon has a belly button, Because its only normal.

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What colour is a black man in a freezer black

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What did the man in need of a prosthetic arm get from the hospital? A diagnosis for cancer.

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Why wasn't the black man allowed on the golf course? Because a wealthy business man had rented out the entire course for a very important international investor.

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What did the dog say to the other dog? Woof.

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what happened to the baseball player who couldnt throw? he was very unsuccessful, as throwing is the most important skill of the game

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A mosquito flies into a bar and orders a bloody mary, the bartender then takes out a swatter and kills the pest. Noticing the event, the patrons cheer and continued drinking their frothy beverage. Minutes later, the phone rings and the bartender answers the phone. "Hello?" "Hi, I'm looking for a friend of mine, is he there?" "Let me check, by the way, what's his name?" "Jack Hoff" "One sec. HEY FELLAS(yelling over the noisy bar), IS THERE A JACK HOFF HERE? I NEED A JACK HOFF! ANYONE?" Mr. Hoff, sitting at the bar hears this and asks, "who is it?" "He said he's a friend of yours!" "Which one?" " He said his name's Dick Stroker and he needs help on something hardhe'll meet you around back." "Oh ok, thanks."

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Why did Sally cross the road? She didn't, she got hit by my car.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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