What follows 2 days of rain? Statistically more rain, but you'll have to check the weather report to be sure.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because seven "eight" nine. Yeah, I went there.

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I have a great knock knock joke. You start. Go.

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Hahaha

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Yesterday I was walking my dog and while I was walking my dog, guess what happened? It got hit by a bus.

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giddy goat

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What's worse than forgetting to charge your cell phone battery? Getting wrongfully accused and going to jail and get raped by inmates for the rest of your life.

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I was very thirsty so I decided to go get some soda.Upon reaching the soda store I discovered a very long line. I decided to leave the line and instead get some milk, unfortunately once again there was a long line at the milk store. Discouraged by still thirsty I decided to try to luck at the punch store. There was a long line there also.

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you are driving down the highway, if two birds make a bee then how many pies can fly at once? None because I can't read

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Why is little johnny sad? He won the lottery but then found out the next day he had cancer and cried in a corner.

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What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor? Make me one with everything.

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Why didn't the man go to the movies?? Because he likes pie.

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What is 1 inch long and eats everyone in it's way .... my pet fish

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How do you get Doctor Phil in a bikini? Give him a little alcohol to ease inhibitions and offer him a suitable bribe.

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The itsy bitsy spider climbed up the water spout. Heavy rain came down and killed him.

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When you cross a bird on the sidewalk what do you do??? Run in big circles.

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Why is Justin Biber so white? there's nothing in the closet.

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Whats Yellow And Cant Swim A Bulldozer.

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My brownie is so warm and squishy. You know what else is warm and squishy? Freshly killed babyies

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...............................................................hi

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A guy is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can. Three years later, there’s a knock on the door. He opens it and sees the same snail. The snail says "What the hell was that all about?"

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Do not be unreasonable now, as for the twenty five million dollars, it is the least I can do, but if we cannot agree upon acting with some reason and dignity, as refraining from insults, then no conflict will ever be solved... ...I will send you my contact information shortly, expect the money within the week, three or four days tops. Would you be interested in learning more about our order? We make good use of people such as you. With all due respect, I would not exactly lend my sister to anybody that brags about engaging into intercourse with his own sister.

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A bar walked into a bar. Bars can't walk.

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why does it take 2 woman with p.m.t to change a light bulb? because there both tired , feel bloated , and could do with a bar of choccy

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops