What do you call Bilbo Baggins when you use him for pleasure? Dildo Baggins

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How do you kill a red elephant? You can't red elephants don't exist.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive a car? Because she's a woman.

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What did the man say to g**guy we are both g**

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A man walks into a bar and sees an attractive blonde. He is afraid of talking to her so he goes home and masterbates himself to sleep.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? At age two, she contracted an illness that left her blind, deaf, unable to speak, and was considered backwards of intelligence. She lived in a dark and hopeless world of her own, rendering her unable to do anything, let alone drive.

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A man goes to the beach to meat babes, but know one seemes to notice him. The man notices another man with a crowed of beautiful women surrounding him. Later that day he stops the man and asks him, how do you get all those girls? the man replies put a potato in your bathing suit. so the next day the man puts a potato in his bathing suit, this time he notices girls walking by and laughing, he goes to the man at the end of the day and asks why it did not work, the man replies, next time try putting the potato in the front

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roses are red violets are blue everyone is stupid how about you? -I'm not Im black

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why didn't the donkey go to the party? Because, unfortunately he did not have the required linguistic skills to communicate with the person inviting. This is obviously dependent on whether the person who invited him was a human, if it was another donkey then perhaps this would of happened. However, this is also very unlikely as donkeys do not have parties or really communicate

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Why can no one in africa read or write? I would asume the lack of public education combined with the fact that setting up an education system for so many widespread remote comunities would be a logistical nightmare. But then again I have never been to africa and know little about the country and so the premise of this joke is probably a dramatic overstatement in the first place.

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Humpty dumpty sat on a wall Humpty dumpty ha a great fall Hunpty dumpty's skull was split in two

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Wh ydo i Hate you? 'COs Your a Gimp!

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These two guys walk into a bar. You'd think the second guy would've noticed it was there.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Beacuse she has no arms or legs. Knock knock. Who's There? Not Sally.

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Roses are red, Facebook is blue, no mutual friends, WHO THE HELL ARE YOU!?!?

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Why is cameron haythorp gay? Answer- He showed his willy to robet tuner

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How do you confuse Hellen Keller? You do not, as she is blind and deaf, and partaking in doing so would be the morally wrong thing to do.

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Yo mama is so fat that her belly button reaches the door 15 minutes before she does- by Adam Chebali

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What happened when the Irish ran out of potatoes? Millions starved.

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womens rights

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I dream of a world where chickens can cross the road and not have their motives questioned.

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What's the longest word in the English language? Tuna. (I lied about it being the longest word in the language.)

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That awkward moment when a joke doesn't end the way you think it would.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding two worms in your apple.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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