Patient: Doctor Doctor I think I have HIV! Doctor: Wtf to that one...

thumb_up thumb_down -47

Knock knock. Whos there? Death. You will die in the next 12 hours from terminal cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -47

1100110001012....HOLY S@&$ A 2!

thumb_up thumb_down -51

Never bring a knife to a sword fight Bring A GIANT FREAKING HIPPOPOTAMUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +52

A Penguin walks in to a bar. then he walks out.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

Vicky is my best friend.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

What is the difference between a cow and a human? A lot of things.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

What did the man say to the woman with two black eyes? "Oh my goodness! Are you alright?!"

thumb_up thumb_down +46

kieran scott has a huge back

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Why did the girl scream for help? She was being raped.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Why did the frog commute suicide ? Because His mother was a type writer

thumb_up thumb_down +38

i have a six pack.... of crayons......... just kidding i ate two of them

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Is your refrigerator running? No. That is highly improbable because a refrigerator has no arms or legs, also a refrigerator is not a human being, or alive in any manor and therefor cannot be moved with out an external force acted upon it.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

pauls tuck

thumb_up thumb_down +38

EAT YOUR DINNER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +38

im at school

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Rose's are red, violets are red, trees are red, bushes are red, oh God the garden's on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

chuck norris

thumb_up thumb_down +36

If you were expecting an antijoke you have come to the wrong place however here is a good recipe for a cake: Ingredients 2-1/2 cups 2% milk 1 cup butter, cubed 8 ounces semisweet chocolate, chopped 3 eggs 2 teaspoons vanilla extract 2-2/3 cups all-purpose flour 2 cups sugar 1 teaspoon baking soda 1/2 teaspoon salt FILLING: 6 tablespoons butter, cubed 4 ounces bittersweet chocolate, chopped 2-1/2 cups confectioners' sugar 1/2 cup heavy whipping cream GANACHE: 10 ounces semisweet chocolate, chopped 2/3 cup heavy whipping cream Directions In a large saucepan, cook the milk, butter and chocolate over low heat until melted. Remove from the heat; let stand for 10 minutes. Preheat oven to 325°. In a large bowl, beat eggs and vanilla; stir in chocolate mixture until smooth. Combine the flour, sugar, baking soda and salt; gradually add to chocolate mixture and mix well (batter will be thin). Transfer to three greased and floured 9-in. round baking pans. Bake 25-30 minutes or until a toothpick inserted in center comes out clean. Cool 10 minutes before removing from pans to wire racks to cool completely. For filling, in a small saucepan, melt butter and chocolate. Stir in confectioners' sugar and cream until smooth. For ganache, place chocolate in a small bowl. In a small saucepan, bring cream just to a boil. Pour over chocolate; whisk until smooth. Cool, stirring occasionally, until ganache reaches a spreading consistency. Place one cake layer on a serving plate; spread with half of the filling. Repeat layers. Top with remaining cake layer. Spread ganache over top and sides of cake. Store in the refrigerator. Yield: 16 servings.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

once you go black you prefer not to date any white people

thumb_up thumb_down +36

*knock knock* "Who's there?" "It's the police, I'm afraid your husband was in a car crash and died."

thumb_up thumb_down +36

why do jews have such big noses? A: it has been inherited through many generations

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Q. Where do you find Indonesia A. On a map

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Your momma's so fat; She has a constant sense of insecurity due to the instability in her relationships caused by her involuntary obesity.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops