What the difference between Adolf Hitler and Michael Phelps? Micheal Phelps can finish a race.

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What happens when 2 gay men rub their penises together Jello

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What has legs but can't walk? A table...or a dog with four broken legs.

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What happened when the child missed his school bus home? He had to take the long 6 mile walk back home and did not return until dinner time.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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When is your birthday? November 13 what year? every year

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Whats worse then 15 missed calls from your mom?, The Holocaust

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why was the child crying? because his friend just got hit by a van.

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Why did the batmobile lose a wheel? The joker was raping robin too hard

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Why did nobody like the famous singer? Because she was Rebecca Black.

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Why didn't the boy blow out his birthday cake this year? He died last year.

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What's even worse than getting a parking ticket on your birthday? Child molestation.

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roses are red violets are blue i am muslim

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I was approached the other day by an officer as he asked... "Son where are your parents?" I replied, "I dont know i'm an orphan" The officer then laughed and walked away

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What is worse than finding an apple in you worm? Biting into an apple and finding 2 worms

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A russian gives away vodka.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Your Best friend. Did you forget what I looked like?

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Optimist: The glass is half full. Pessimist: The glass is half empty. Realist: Find something better to do than talk about a glass.

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whats a cross between michael jackson and arnold shwarzanegga? Michaelwasanigga

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Roses are red violets are blue. A face like yours belongs in the zoo! But don't you worry I'll be there too! But not in the Ill be laughing at you

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What's better than winning $500? Using it to support the Islams to destroy America

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Q: A black man, A Mexican, And a Asian are in a car. Who Is Driving? A: The Cop.

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whats worse than god meaner than the devil. the poor have it the rich need it nothing

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A kangaroo walks into a bar, he hops up to the bartender, and asks for a martini. The bartender, not knowing exactly what to do, goes into the back to his boss's office. He says "Hey, there's a kangaroo up front askin' for a martini...do we serve kangaroos?" His boss replies "Ya, of course, but these kangaroos, they aren't too smart, so charge him like 50 bucks for the drink." The bartender agrees and goes back up front to serve the kangaroo. He pours the martini and hands it to the kangaroo, the kangaroo thanks him and says "How much do I owe you?" The bartender replies "50 bucks." The kangaroo then reaches into his pouch, pulls out a fifty dollar bill, and puts it on the counter. He finishes his drink and begins to hop away. As he is leaving, the bartender says "Hey, wait, we don't get many of your kind around here, why is that?" And the kangaroo replies "I'm not surprised at THESE prices!!!" and hops out.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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