I was walking down the street the other day and I saw this lady and suddenly: POTATOES!!!!!!!!!

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There once was a plain Cheerio. He has a decent life with a low paying job and an apartment. One day, he decided to make his life more fun and started going to parties. He met some women and had a good time. He was happier and was soon promoted at work. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself, only to discover that he was now a Honey-nut Cheerio. He continued to go to parties and met a girl that eventually became his girlfriend. He became a manager at work and moved into an expensive condo. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself and was a Frosted Cheerio. He then quit his job and opened a club, where he became the most popular Cheerio in town. All guys wanted to be him, girls with him. At one party, his girlfriend asked him for some punch. He went to the kitchen but couldn't find any. There was no punch-line.

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A Christian, a Sunni Muslim, and a Shi'a Muslim walked into a government building. Turns out, they were Lebanese, so this was a normal occurrence. Thus, to draw any humor from it before first taking into account the weaknesses of your own government would be both unwise and unfair.

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Why did the giant frog attack the party goers with a ballistic missile? oh where tos tart...it's, just such a long story, I don't really know where to begin, in fact it's probably better if you just take my word for it, no need to go into details. we just don't have time for that now.

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Why did the circus clown lose his balance? He had a seizure while on his unicycle, fell off, and bumped his head, leading to significant blunt trauma in the brain. Weeks later, after waking up from a coma, the doctors discover that he can no longer speak anything other than gibberish. His friends and family decide that he cannot go on living this way and decide to pull the plug.

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Why should you be concerned if you see a black midget with no arms and no legs falling off a building? He might get hurt.

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What did the black guy say to the white guy? The black guy said, "hello". They then proceeded to have a normal conversation.

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I've got ninety-nine problems, all of them very diverse and possibly involving women.

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what did the man say to the sad woman? go make ma a sammich before i hit you again! the women refused and was hit again.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why didn't the chicken cross the road?!

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There is a black man and a Mexican in a car. Who's driving? The driver.

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what is long black and smelly the welfare line

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Roses are red, violets are blue, if you had a pulmonary embolism, you would be too

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A man walks into a bar. He I then taken to the hospital for a major head injury.

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Which is the smallest? A. Jupiter B. Whale C. Cow D. Bracelet Answer: D

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what do you call a tall black man with big ears? orangatang

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Your one and only! Step away from the door, Francheska. You're violating the restraining order.

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What do you call a guy who accidentally cut off his hand in a blender? Stupid.

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What do you call a woman in the kitchen? Her name.

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your mother is so fat that she eats a lot of high fat foods.

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The patient says, "Give me the bad news first!" Doctor replies, "You've got AIDS." "Oh, no! What could be worse than that?" asks the patient. "You've also got Alzheimer's Disease." Looking relieved the patient says, 'at least it shall be over quickly.'

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What did the ocean say to the other ocean? - nothing oceans are inanimate objects that are incapable of talking.

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One day, a bear happoned across a man and said "How do you do today good sir?" but the man ran away screaming "OH CRAP, BEARS!!!!" because it just sounded like bear growling (which i would love to dedicate to my friend Chris Bradley, just to make the ball to stick ratio too high)

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Why was the black guy charged for murder? He killed his wife.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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