Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms Knock knock Who's there? Certainly not Sally

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How do you get a man out of a box? Blow the box up

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Why was the hiker upset? He was plummeting 1,500 feet to the ground after tripping on a rock too close to a cliff.

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How can you tell if a man is choking? Stick a fridge down his throat

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Two elephants are walking down the street. They have already killed 12 people including 11 children and their foster parent.

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Did you hear about the gay midget? He came out of the cupboard.

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If it wasn't for my horse I'd never go to college.

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What do you call a Black person in a city with high crime rates? Whatever their name happens to be.

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How do you get Doctor Phil in a bikini? Give him a little alcohol to ease inhibitions and offer him a suitable bribe.

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A pink bird and a pink elephant was out flying. Then something happened.

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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A man with tourettes walks into a bar, due to his disease he shouts unexpected profanities across the room; everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the pressure anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom and pulls out a gun and points it at his head. HIs wife of 15 years walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to conceive. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man diagnosed with touretts then goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. After he killed everybody he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentanced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man with touretts still cannot control his ticks and rots in jail everyday screaming obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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Steve Mullings isn't on drugs

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What's brown and sticky? A Stick

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Hahahahaha your nan had HIV and died.lol

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A man walks into a bar and says to the bartender "Hey, 2 beers please" The bartender asks why he is ordering two, as he is alone. The man replies "There is a taxi waiting for me outside."

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if you like, i will tell my crush maddy i love her, just kidding i wont do shit.

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What did the paper say to the pen? Nothing, they are inanimate objects!

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2 big black men walked up to me with baseball bats. they politely asked me if i wanted to join their friendly game of baseball

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How many retarded mexicans can you fit in a smart car? Two.

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As friend of mine recently told me that he knew my deepest darkest secret. When I asked him what it was, he said that I was too emotionally unstable, and that I would never be ready to settle down. I killed him.

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Why did the kid need glasses? A monkey threw a fridge at him.

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why did the skeleton drop his juice? Because he has no stomach LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLO

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Why did the man have no friends? He mudered and ate someone in '86 and is rotting in prison.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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