Harry Potter: Hey voldemort, you wanna go get our noses pierced?? Voldemort: I killed your parents.

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Dad: i hate you. dads son:(kills him self)

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YO MAMA SO SHORT she should really consider wearing long tunic-like blouses, prints that contain vertical stripes, and heeled shoes with a pointed toe in order to create the illusion of length to her silhouette. That having been said, society's limited definition of beauty is quite inadequate for the diverse and progressive world in which we live.

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Heheheheh, Good one, you made me laugh, you just made me realize that it was indeed I that said that to you once, and now you are telling me. I know now, I am happy, not because I seek happiness, but because thinking, finding solutions, guiding myself and others, is what makes me happy. I feel like an alien, because my ideals, my solutions hopes and dreams that grow out of a result of my constant thinking, will never be in this world. Yet I also feel human now, because it could have been, humanity could have succeeded...

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Roses are red Violets are blue Black people are black They are inferior

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A duck walks into a bar and says, "Have you got any grapes?" The bartender replies "No." The duck then leaves but returns the next day and again asks, "Have you got any grapes?" And again the bartender answers, "No." This happens again the next day and in annoyance the bartender yells, "If you come in tomorrow and ask if I have any grapes, then I will nail your feet to the floor!" The next day the duck came into the bar and asked, "Have you got any nails?" to which the bartender replied, "Yes." The duck then walked out of the bar

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i feel like i will die some heroic death, but its more likely i will trip over my dog and choke on a spoonful of frosting.

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What do Kim Kardashian and a broken-down horse have in common? They will both eat oats out of your hand.

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Jesus was born and rased a jew

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Roses are red Violets are blue ... Uhhhh I don't think anyone knows the rest of this!!!!!!

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What bird can lift the most? i do not know, I suggest asking an Ornithologist

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What is pretty, has big tits, talks like a guy, and has a dick? Your mom giving me a handjob.

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Why did the blind man fail his math test? Because he had been raped and murdered. Going blind is a side effect of death.

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a man goes for blood check up ..........his whole hand was frozen >>>>the doctor cuts his finger'''''' he comes outside crying n sits in a chair n cries.............]]]]]] the person near him asks him why is he cryin...he says i came 4 my blood test the doctor cut my finger.the person next to him cried aloud......the person asked y r u cryin>>>>>>>>>>i came her 4 my urine test ..........????????lol

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Why did the little kid fall off the rollercoaster? His dad threw him off.

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gay porn...

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A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

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Why does Michael J. Fox make the best milkshakes? He uses only the finest ingredients.

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What do you call your female dog? Your bitch

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A terrorist robs a walrus.

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Moral"We all miss someone sometimes during our life, but just remain patient as you aim again, reload and hit that someone!"

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Where did Susie go in the bombing? Nowhere. Susie is the bomber.

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What's the difference between a sack of dead babies and my cousins? Nothing.

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Why did the downtown New York worker never make it home? An airplane crashed into his office.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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