Knock, Knock Who's there? Anti-Joke Delivery Service. Oh, just leave it by the door.

Why did Helen Kelley's dog run away I'd run away to if my name was. Ughgughgughgiggughfufh.

What does a fish say when it swims into a wall? Damn

There once was a man named Steve. One day, Steve stumbled stupidly, shredding his shirt, shoes and shorts and subsequently shocking Susie; a small shy salsa student. When he arrived home, Steve's wife asked "how was your day dear?" Steve panicked at the thought of having to explain this traumatic event, but thankfully he had undergone speech therapy for his lisp.

Do you know what's funny? 9/11

Why can't black people be in a talent show? Because they'll steal the show.

adele is so fat that when shes on a plane she makes the skyfall

Why doesn't anybody like the octopus? There anti-social creatures by nature

what do you call a bee that makes milk? A BOObee

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roses are reddish voilets are blueish if it weren't for christmas we'd all be jewish

What do you call a black man about to jump off a cliff? Suicidal

Why is the boy home alone on Friday night? Because Hitler took he's parents away.

Two gay guys walk into a bar. You think the second one would notice...

roses are red orchids are black I like you best when you lye on your back

Knock knock? Who's there? Cancer Cancer who? After some time and various bouts of radiation and chemotherapy, he finally lost his life to the terrible disease.

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a woman

What do you call two black guys holding up a store? Really strong.

Whats the difference between a pizza and a baby? Humans don't eat babies, other than a Cannibals because some tend to eat babies.

I think I am done here friend, it always comes to this, it has always been easier for me to repair whatever is wrong with others and get my kicks out of that, as I know I can and will repair everything wrong with myself, but its hard as hell, I mean I never give up, ever. But that does not change the fact that I am broken, and that simply deciding that I am not, is far from enough, its a choice indeed, but its like deciding to constantly walk trough hell, and sometimes that hell is also called living, that too is always a choice, And believe me, I would never quit, I guess that if this hell I struggle trough has so many nice things in it, it just feels like hell at times. I mean the main motivation behind my ability to help others, has always been searching for answers low and high, and when what I have learned trough life helps others, but barely scratches the surface of the armor I am confined within, I lose hope, do you believe that my desire to help humanity grow, derived from my own incompetence at curing myself?

How do you fit 100 dead babies into a box? Put them into a blender.

Have you seen the 6th sense? Nope, is it good? Yeah Bruce Willis is dead

whats funnier than a dead musim? a guy who begs a girl to go out with him for 16 hours

There is a mountain and there are three men, One is asian and the two others are black and white. "This is for my people!" Said the asian man when he was falling for his death. "This is for my people!" Yelled the african american. Then he takes the American man and throws him off the mountain

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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