Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It died. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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*Knock Knock* Who's there? It's Jeff. Hi there Jeff, come in, the doors open.

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cancer isn't that good for you. so try not to get it

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chuck norris's daughter lost her virginity but he got it back

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Why did the cow fall Cause a fat kid pushed him over

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Yo mama soooooo dumb! You should really take her to a doctor, she might actually suffer from mental retardation, I'm just concerned about her.

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what did the chicken cross the road? because its a chicken

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why don't you ask the chicken. I am sorry but I as a human being am totally incapable of understanding and communicating with chickens.

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You know your in deep shit when you hit somebody in the head with a 2 by 4 and they dont go down.

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What has a fiery tail and is mentally handicapped? Charetard.

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The guys Joke above me is funnier^.

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What's worse than getting dumped? Being molested by a crazy hobo

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Why did the woman cross the road? To welcome the new neighbors.

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How do you disprove feminism? This is how I disprove feminism. I go up to a feminist and ask her, 'If there are penises, then why are there women?' I have never met a feminist who can say anything in response to my logic.

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Imagine a scenario Add a Rhubarb Crumble into your scenario Add your mother and father sitting together watching the news in your scenario. Your scenario should take place in an old people's home Add an Olympic athlete doing the splits into your scenario If there were any crane-flies in your scenario, be sure to subtract them at once. Divide your scenario by two. Your scenario should now be a mental image of flying horses and a hippopotamus eating a large salmon mousse. There will be a pig tied to a pair of sunglasses.

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guess what chicken butt

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An anorexic women walks into McDonalds

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How could you wake up Lady Gaga? poke her face

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If I have 7 oranges in one hand and 8 oranges in the other, what do I have? Big hands!

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What did david give back? Nothing.

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Why did the man jump into the river? He wanted to go for a swim, but the pool was closed, so he swam in the river.

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Why did FiddleBob Joe chuck a stick of butter out the window? Because he wanted to see a butter fly

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Did you just admit being considerate? I do not care about who gets the last comment anymore, I need to tear my face away from the screen ASAP.

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Where do you find a good lawyer? In the cemetary

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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