What did the vegetarian order for lunch? A dead baby.

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What do you call a smart blond? A golden retriever!

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A pink bird and a pink elephant was out flying. Then something happened.

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What did Batman say to Robin before getting in the Batmobile? "Robin, please, get in the Batmobile

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Thats a real shame. How come your eyes are red to begin with? You can use hypnosis to change the color, but if you never learned how, I am not gonna teach you.

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Imagine a scenario Add a Rhubarb Crumble into your scenario Add your mother and father sitting together watching the news in your scenario. Your scenario should take place in an old people's home Add an Olympic athlete doing the splits into your scenario If there were any crane-flies in your scenario, be sure to subtract them at once. Divide your scenario by two. Your scenario should now be a mental image of flying horses and a hippopotamus eating a large salmon mousse. There will be a pig tied to a pair of sunglasses.

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what is the difference between the dead baby and the sandwich? i don't put my penis into the sandwich before i eat it.

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yo mamas so dumb she named her house butt and her son crack and then she called the police saying I looked all over my butt and i can not find my crack.

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What's got eight legs and one eye? Two chairs and half a pigs head.

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Why did the woman call 911? Fire.

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Knock Knock Who's there? I eat mop I eat mop who? That's strange, most American's don't eat poo I'm Asian

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Q:What happened when Smokey the Bear was the one who started the forest fire? A: He got arrested just like you would have

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In Soviet Russia, this type of joke would be considered evidence to throw you into the gulag.

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Why did they use the phone as a football? Because it was a phone-ball.

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What ended in the year 1970? 1969

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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Why was Jimmy sad? Because he has a frog stapled to his forehead

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a registered SIX offender

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What's black, white & red all over? A cow in a slaughter house.

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this is a haiku i have no idea where i am going with .... this

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Why did the lorry cross the road? It was swerving to avoid a small child. Unfortunately the driver's reactions were too slow and he hit the kid. After a week fighting for their life in hospital the child fibaly died. There wasn't a scratch on the lorry though.

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How do you know if someone is vegan? They'll tell you.

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A black guy, Jewish guy, Chinese guy and a normal guy walk into a bar. They were all normal but the race of the last guy could not be easily determined.

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You are the most beautiful person in the world.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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