I wont be arriving soon alright, I mean I am a overachiever for many reasons many of them not exactly "gifts" (such as the pain I cant shut up about but focus on other things such as my goal surely keeps my mind occupied enough). Thanks about the looks comment, used to think I was pretty good looking myself, so if I am more than the looks, then I really like that one (I know I am being a bit brash, but I haven't felt this... Better in a long time, and if hell if I will fake low self confidence, modesty is not my thing when I am not in the mood to be charming) By the way, Alice is quoting me, and having a laugh doing so apparently, lets just say I wont be typing myself ever again, my fingers are not... Useful, and honestly typing with one hand was always a bitch. Enough about me, ill have one of "my shadows" send you money for a first class (seriously you have spent enough on me, and now that my city is making a revenue and still advancing, its my turn to return whatever I can) Tell your parents you won the lottery and share some of the money with them I am sending you a bit extra so to speak. And ffs do not worry about my body, not even sure if I will walk again and speaking, well while it hurts (Alice is laughing again) people here concluded I would live for faaar longer than their first prognosis since I never been a fan of shutting up, and as I told them, my mouth will keep yapping about 200 years after I die, so no problemo. Ill send you a first class to... Nvm you take the money, and come around whenev... You know what? Ill send a plane, yeah, because we can afford that, not yours to keep but you know...

your mom is so fat, she stepped on the scale and said, "I really need to eat better and I'm thinking about getting a gym membership." She did so, and she lost so much weight that all her friends congratulated her everywhere she went, and some didn't even recognize her.

What did the gay guy say to the other gay guy Want to make out?

Yo mamma so fat, she is going on a diet and is very sensitive about her weight.

When life gives you lemons.... Don't eat them, because you're probable hallucinating, and you don't know where they came from.

Why did Alfa Kurtoo change his name? Just say Alfa Kurtoo fast!

Black people

24... wait i thought of something better than 24... let me hear it... 25!!!!

What's the longest word in the English language? Tuna. (I lied about it being the longest word in the language.)

So a horse walks into a bar... I forget the rest of the joke but you're mom is a whore..

Why did the black guy cross the street? Because his master ordered him to

How do you know a blonde's been in your refrigerator?? There's lipstick on the cucumber!

What did the doctor say to his wife? We have grown apart over the years, I want a divorce.

LOLLLLLL! Lakers? making me laugh so hard! LMAO

Color Blind people are so stupid that they can't even see color. I've been seeing color since I was a small child. They are so stupid.

Knock, Knock? Who's there? Boo. Boo who? Why are you crying? I'm not crying. Oh.

-Have you ever seen an elephant hidden behind a thread? -No. -How come you're seeing it, he's hidden.

Q. What's brown and circular? A. MEATBALLS!

What did Helen Keller say when she jumped off the cliff? ........………………………………….…………….........................................................................………………,………………...........................................................................………………………………….…………….........................................................................………………,………………...........................................................................………………………………….…………….........................................................................………………,………………...........................................................................………………………………….…………….........................................................................………………,………………..................................................................... .

There were three guy's caught trespassing on a farmers land. The farmer said he wont kill them if they did what they were told, he told everyone to pick one fruit. The 1st guy came to him with grapes. The farmer told him to shove it up his butt so he did, the 2nd guy came to the farmer with orange, the farmer told him to shove them up his butt but the guy kept laughing, the farmer got angry and snapped whats so funny? My buddy over over there is picking watermelons.

How do you make a bull angry? Light it on fire

What did the Asian, the black man and the jew have in common? To be honest i really don't know.

A. Why did the chicken cross the road? B. Why? A. To get to the other side. A. Knock, Knock. B. Who's there? A. The chicken.

casey, that is all, ruddel, that is all, hi mark

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...