How do you get a one armed Pollack out of a tree? Hold his family at gunpoint.

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I haven't made a school shooting joke yet, but the day is young Just like those kids that got shot

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What do George Washington, JFK and Hillary Clinton have in common? They've never been to my house.

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3 men are stranded on an island when they come across a brass lantern. The rub it and nothing happens. They all starve to death a day later.

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Why did 3 blacks guys start watching the first Star Wars movie on Saturday night? They finished the Back to the Future movies on Friday.

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I like pancakes. I like pancakes. We have no pancakes

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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What's big, black, and impossible to swallow? A parking lot. Among many other things.

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What's invisble and smells like bananas? My mailbox.

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Q. What's the best thing to do before you get in a car accident? A. There's actually not much you can do in a car accident, considering you probably will never expect it, and it happens relatively too fast to react.

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Q. How do you break into a store that's closed? A. You walk in, I was lying about it being closed.

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A man walks into a doctors and says 'Doctor, Doctor, I have a bad stomach ache' Upon hearing this, the doctor writes the man a prescription for medication and wishes him a swift recovery.

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Knock knock whos there? I have no anus

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A jew walk's into a bar. But actually it was a Gas chamber.

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Question: What did Mr. Reeves say. Answer: Nothing

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How do you make a tissue dance? Blow a little boogie in it!

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Why was the blackman fired from his job? Beacuse he was late too many times which was unacceptable.

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What did one tube of glue say to the other tube of glue? Nothing. Inanimate objects, such as a tube of glue, however adhesive the contents of said objects are, are in no way capable of advanced speech, let alone basic communication.

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how do you get all the people in ireland out of their homes? roll a potato down the road. how do you find the richest person in ireland? you find the one who got the patato

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What's blue and says "Good morning" A blue sign that says good morning

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Whats the first thing you do when your grandmother gets hit by a toaster? Buy a new toaster.

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one day a white guy was in detroit. it was very strange. nothing happened

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Why did steve cry? Because he got punched.

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Why did the old man cross the road? Coz he was in an ambulance

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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