In 1284, while the town of Hamelin was suffering from a rat infestation, a man dressed in pied clothing appeared, claiming to be a rat-catcher. He loyally promised the townsmen a solution for their problem with the rats. The townsmen in appreciation and glad to get rid of the infestation promised to pay him for the removal of the rats, they were looking forward to being left in peace. The man pleased with their decision accepted, and played a mystical musical pipe to lure the rats with a joyous song into the Weser River, where all but one drowned. Despite his renowned success, the people reneged on their promise and refused to pay the rat-catcher the full amount of money. The man left the town angry and upset the people had betrayed his kindness, he did however vow to return some time later, seeking revenge. On Saint John and Paul's day while the inhabitants were happily sat in church, he played his pipe yet again, dressed in green, like a hunter, this time attracting the young and joyful children of Hamelin. One hundred and thirty boys and girls followed him out of the town, skipping in song as they went, where they were lured into a cave. The events that followed are now known as the 1284 mass child massacrer, in which all 130 children were raped and savagely tortured and killed one by one, each viscously taped and recorded for the pipe pipers satisfaction, where a copy of each tape was sent to their corresponding parents, this was before their bodies turned up dangling from a tree and the bottom of the village, all 130 of them unrecognisable from decomposition and mutilation the pipe piper had inflicted.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Three men walked into a bar. None were injured because they were all wearing hard hats as is the procedure for a construction site.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

what do you call dominic rolling down a hill?

thumb_up thumb_down +10

There once was a man who couldn't finish any sente

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q:Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, an honest lawyer and an old drunk are walking down the street together when they simultaneously spot a hundred dollar bill. Who gets it? A:The old drunk, of course; the other three are mythological creatures.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Are you kidding? If you can slow down time when stressed, then that means that your perception of time is, well... Oh relative, but still wow! What about now though? Can you do it? And for curiosity`s sake, what if you jumped off a roof? Would the stress make it all really slow?

thumb_up thumb_down +10

69

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why was Timmy sad? He had 15 large cuban men slapping him for 27 hours straight.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

an autistic child eats its family's dogs poop and dies

thumb_up thumb_down +10

a horse walkes into a bar... never mind that's just Sarah Jessica Parker

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Santa Claus is so hairy he need to shave more often.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Whats the greatest part of buttsex the refrigerators

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Yo mama so stupid that she was tested and found to be mentally retarded.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Barack Obama

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A man walks into a bar, and he says, "ow,".

thumb_up thumb_down +10

An Irish guy, a black guy, and an Asian guy walk into a bar. They all caught the plague and died.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What type of party do you throw when your fat? A baby shower.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Two pretzels were walking down the street. One was assaulted. The other, witnessing what he'd seen, developed a harsh stereotype.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

why did Sarah fall out of the swing? she had no arms. Knock knock. who's there? not Sarah.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the overweight blind kid get for Christmas? His parents died in a tragic car crash and he was left alone, fat and blind to fend for himself

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the duck say to the moose? Quack

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the sick kid say to Make a Wish foundation? To get better

thumb_up thumb_down +10

First joke of the most-disliked area; 9/11 joke. First joke of the most popular area; Holocaust joke. "You shouldn't joke about 9/11 you sick bastard people died" -Said all Americans ever.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Your momma is so old that she might die soon!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops