Imagine a scenario Add a Rhubarb Crumble into your scenario Add your mother and father sitting together watching the news in your scenario. Your scenario should take place in an old people's home Add an Olympic athlete doing the splits into your scenario If there were any crane-flies in your scenario, be sure to subtract them at once. Divide your scenario by two. Your scenario should now be a mental image of flying horses and a hippopotamus eating a large salmon mousse. There will be a pig tied to a pair of sunglasses.

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what is the difference between the dead baby and the sandwich? i don't put my penis into the sandwich before i eat it.

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Thats a real shame. How come your eyes are red to begin with? You can use hypnosis to change the color, but if you never learned how, I am not gonna teach you.

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Why didn't the Irishman want to drink anymore? Because he wasn't thirsty.

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What did Batman say to Robin before getting in the Batmobile? "Robin, please, get in the Batmobile

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What do you call a smart blond? A golden retriever!

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What's brown and sticky? Vomit.

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What did the vegetarian order for lunch? A dead baby.

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A pink bird and a pink elephant was out flying. Then something happened.

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Knock Knock Who's There Nobody Nobody Who?

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Why did the black man go to church? Because his father died.

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2 big black men walked up to me with baseball bats. they politely asked me if i wanted to join their friendly game of baseball

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How do you teach an asian baby to read? Enroll him in a good pre-school and practice regularly.

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A guy starts writing a gag for a joke site. But then he couldn't think of a punchline.

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Why do white people go to black people's yard sales? Because they know they sale good quality stuff -Travis

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What did the ice cream man ask the little boy? Want some ice cream?

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John: Hey Pablo why are you standing outside Home Depot. Pablo: Because I work here.

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whats the similarities between an xbox and michael jackson? there both made of plastic and they both get turned on by children

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how do you kill a man? slowly saw off all their limbs and then jump up and down on the torso and let all the organs fly out

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Why was Jimmy sad? Because he has a frog stapled to his forehead

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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What ended in the year 1970? 1969

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Why did they use the phone as a football? Because it was a phone-ball.

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Q:What happened when Smokey the Bear was the one who started the forest fire? A: He got arrested just like you would have

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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