Why was the turtle blue? He wasn't you are color blind.

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What do you call a woman between two houses? Her name.

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A dyslexic man's favourite clothing shop is Tampon.

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Q: What happens when you throw a glowing purple rock into a bright green stream? A: It makes a splash

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What did one volcano say to the other? Hey.... wana get some lunch... later, not now of course it's WAAAAY TOO EARLY!

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how do you beat the system? throw your xbox out a window.

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Why did little Billy fall of his bike? anwser: because a refridgator hit him.

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What's black and very long? The line-up at KFC.

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Knock Knock? whos there? The man at the door then finds himself thinking what his last name is as he lately got amnesia

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Three men of different ethnic and socio-economic upbringings enter a pub. A strange situation befalls them or a question is posed. The first two respond in turn, in manners typical of their profession or educational background. The third, however, either draws on his specific expertise and responds so as to outwit the others, or makes an egregious and pun-filled blunder, leaving himself open to mockery by his peers.

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What worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. What worse than two bee stings? The Holocaust What worse than the Holocaust? Three bee stings

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Whats grosser than a bloody hand? 2 bloody hands.

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No, its just his eye, its infected, he gets fever and well, that is all I should say. Nero is my friend and I do not like it when people lie to him, he is outside having a cigarette, I do not think he wants to speak with you anymore. Bye.

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Knock Knock Whos there? Your neighbor.

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a dinosaur with a large clown hat is walking down the street when he is confronted by an obese monkey human with red hair. I set this up for a good pun, but the one i have is potatoes.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms.

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roses are red violets should be purple

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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A man walks into a bar and says, "I'll take a drink."

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Whats white and can't climb a tree? A refrigerator

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I had a chocolate chip cookie today, thats it, just a chocolate chip cookie.

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I'm attracted to you like the earth is attracted to the sun. With a force that is inversely proportional to the distance squared.

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Why could'nt the Jew drink milk? He was laptose intolerant.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Oh, they were just nailing a notice of foreclosure to the door.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops