Why was the wife not in the kitchen? The husband's gay.

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why did the rabit lose the race? it was a dumb@$$

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Why did Billy cry? He had Pubic Lice

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Well, honestly I don't know how I feel about meeting you yet, or chatting with you, I never believed I would get to speak, or even less meet "The Nero", I mean as far as I know, nobody that ever worked alongside you ever has... ...By the way, the thing with the metal arm, well I don't have both arms, so yeah, story of my life. I am "Eliza" here too, its not coding, its just me sharing my real part of my life with our followers, and well, they do not make much sense out of it, but I get to share the tale about how Nero saved me, if not in person.

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I hate it when i don't forward an email and then i die the next day.

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You know you are from New York when you live in Manhattan.

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Why did the boy punch his teacher? Muscle spasms.

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Why did Doris have no control over her bladder? Because she was old and suffered catastrophic incontinence

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why did tom get HIV? He was raped by a giant scorpion

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Justin Bieber

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Why did the little girl fall off of the swing? She had previously been in a car accident, in which all of her close family died and she was the only survivor. Since both her arms were stuck in between crushed components of the car, they had to be amputated on the spot. She was testing out the prosthetic arms she had been given when they failed, causing her to get a concussion, and putting her in a coma for the rest of her life.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To see if he could beat the oncoming car.

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What did Christopher Columbus say to his men before they got on the ship? "Men, get on the ship."

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What does this joke have in common with a ruphies party? They both have an unpopular punchline.

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Nah, its fine, I just went to get a popsicle, and its square, so don't get any ideas. Honestly? When I first met "some jerk" calling himself Nero here, I began calling myself Nero, because I thought that the jerk that turned out to be you, Nero himself, sigh. was screwing over his own reputation. But now I realize that what makes you who you are, is that you say whats on your mind without going "oh no what will others think about me, what if this or that happens", you accept yourself for who you are, and if the rest do not, well screw them right? As you told me at first and proved to me during our conversations, you respect and value individuality and integrity. And well, you are a guy, you think like a guy (I honestly dont think we girls think that differently, we are simply socially indoctrinated or "engineered" in order to think that we do), I mean let me say something really honest here. Nero, I only dare say this once, so take me seriously I really want you to fuck me, and yeah, I may say that when we meet too, considering I have not even said it yet, just in my head... Anyway, its not something I am insecure about nor ever was and blahblahblah, the end, oh, and yeah, I really want and need a friend like you.

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What's te best part about having sex with twenty two year olds? There are 20 of them ;)

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a women walks into a room and says she got a good job..wait thats not possible..

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What did the clerk say and do when he was givng out free food What he did:Gave them What he said:"If you want to get this free, pay $5.00"

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What is green and fuzzy and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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A 14 year old walks into a bar. The bartender yells "Hey, no minors allowed!" The 14 year old yells back "Excuse me? Do you see a fvcking pickaxe?"

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What happens when you stick your finger in a pencil sharpener? Blood everywhere.

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roses are red Jacob's a Jew the holocaust was funny Haha f**k you

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How do you starve a Mexican? Deny him Food Stamps.

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What has wings but is often on the ground? An aircraft that has frequent take-off problems.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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