When I exited the hospital one day, I spotted a sign saying "Come back soon!" Soon afterwards I saw people protesting to ban dihydrogen monoxide. The next day on tv I saw an ad for a solar powered lightbulb. Then I saw a Gun control poster. I cried, this being the dumbest thing I had seen yet, and the world was certainly doomed due to humanity's general stupidity. I saw a chicken crossing a packed road. Why did the chicken feel the urge to cross the road?

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a korean man with no legs sits on a porch. He has no legs so it's considered standing

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How do you register on webkinz? You put a rope around a durable shower neck, & then hang yourself with it.

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A skeleton walks into a bar. He orders a beer and a mop.

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What do you call a Christmas tree with lights on it? A Christmas tree with lights on it.

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What do you call an asian with a small penis? Whatever his name happens to be.

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42, that is all

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Holy Fish Sticks Batman! Batman and Robin were at a church and saw a priest eating fish sticks.

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Roses are red Violets are blue This poem sucks Because violets are purple

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Wanna know what's funny? A joke.

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how do u keep a stupid person in suspense? how

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Why was the chicken afaid to cross the road? because there was no road.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Probably because that's where all of the other chickens are.

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Whats worse than the holocaust A.MRS FRANK B.HITLER ANSWER MRS FRANK

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An anorexic women walks into McDonalds

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In the middle of a long flight from Heathrow to Chicago O'Hare, the passengers of a 747 watched the engines all suddenly flame out. "Now, folks," the captain said over the PA as the plane plummeted to the earth, "I want it on record that I said it in plain English: a 747 can't fly from Heathrow to Chicago without refueling." No one bothered writing it down.

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What do you call a horse standing alone in an empty field? Tesco's own Beef Lasagne.

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Jimmy was skipping in the park one day when a young boy stopped him. "Hello there, would you like to be friends? We can go behind the old oak tree and play soccer!" asked the boy. "Ok!" replied Jimmy, and they went off together to play. The so-called 'young boy' was actually a wanted midget rapist. Jimmy was brutally raped and filmed. The film was later uploaded onto the internet where it blew up in a matter of weeks. Jimmy had to move schools 6 times and had to go to counselling every week. He finds it hard making friends and later went on to become a heavy cocaine addict.

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Whats the difference between a frog?

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If the covalent bonds of two Hydrogen atoms and one Oxygen atom creates water, which subs are currently on the 5-dollar-foot-long menu at Subway?

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What did the black man get his mom for Mother's Day? Some jewelry and a very nice card.

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What happens when you play a country song backwards? Gibberish.

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Robocop and T-800 argue over who can run the fastest, Robocop claims he is the fastest, while T-800 says that he is the fastest. To settle things once and for all, they start a race. At first T-800 seems to be leading Then the T-800 is leading by a great distance. moments later the T-800 has a huge lead. But then suddenly, without any warning, the race shifts! T-800 is now leading only by a great distance! Yet in a amazing, and completely unexpected plot-twist. T-800 wins! Moral: :O

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Why do Asians get 50% off on movies? They don't.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops