What is 1 inch long and eats everyone in it's way .... my pet fish

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The itsy bitsy spider climbed up the water spout. Heavy rain came down and killed him.

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why does it take 2 woman with p.m.t to change a light bulb? because there both tired , feel bloated , and could do with a bar of choccy

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Do not be unreasonable now, as for the twenty five million dollars, it is the least I can do, but if we cannot agree upon acting with some reason and dignity, as refraining from insults, then no conflict will ever be solved... ...I will send you my contact information shortly, expect the money within the week, three or four days tops. Would you be interested in learning more about our order? We make good use of people such as you. With all due respect, I would not exactly lend my sister to anybody that brags about engaging into intercourse with his own sister.

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Why did the black man die? He was shot

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A bar walked into a bar. Bars can't walk.

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Why is Justin Biber so white? there's nothing in the closet.

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Whats Yellow And Cant Swim A Bulldozer.

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two muffins are in a oven the one muffin says jee its hot in here and the other muffin says wow a talking muffin

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Why did the guy in the wheelchair die? He was mauled by tigers.

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What's funnier than 3 midgets in a treehouse? A talented comedian.

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Why did Sally fall off the swingset? she had no arms... Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sally

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My brownie is so warm and squishy. You know what else is warm and squishy? Freshly killed babyies

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Two men walk into a bar. One gets drunk, goes home, savagely beats his wife, and goes to jail for domestic abuse.

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...............................................................hi

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A guy is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can. Three years later, there’s a knock on the door. He opens it and sees the same snail. The snail says "What the hell was that all about?"

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what happens when a girl poops? she wipes her butt.

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Why did the man get fired from his Job? The boss became his ex girlfriend 2 minutes ago

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Knock, knock! Who's there? Mary Mary who? Mary Smith.

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What did the Asian see when he went to Youtube.com? Youtube.com

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"Wise old man, what is the meaning of life?" "I don't know why do people think old people are so wise these days?"

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Why did the chicken commit suicide? No one knows, he didn't leave a note.

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How many Jews can you fit into a car? Depending on the size of the car, you should be able to safely fit somewhere between 2 and 8.

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what do you do with a drunken sailor? take him back to port because he's not in a right state of mind to be on board a moving vessel

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops