What's the difference between jelly and jam? I can't jelly my d i c k in your a s s.

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Xzibit

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A man walks into a bar and says "ouch".

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if a man is alone in the forest, and there are no women around to hear him...........is he still wrong?

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Why did the boy tell the fly to eat the cheese? A: because he wanted him to

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What is dark in the darkness even if you shine a torchlight on it? A blackman

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Knock knock Who's there Police

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What did the chicken do before it crossed the road? Looked both ways and then crossed with caution while looking out for oncoming vehicles.

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Why was Six afraid of Seven? Seven was in a horrible car accident recently and became very disfigured. He didn't tell Six, so the initial shock of seeing him for the first time was quite jarring for Six. Seven has had multiple surgeries since and, once the swelling recedes, he should look much better. It will still hurt for him to chew though.

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Why did the man Iorn his face? Because he felt like it.

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Why is 5 the best number? Because it's alive!

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Q: What do you call a black guy with his degree in dentistry? A: Doctor

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whats long, hairy, and has one eye? my cat fluffy, he has cancer.

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What did the one stethoscope say to the other stethoscope? Nothing. Stethoscopes can't talk.

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What's worse than AIDS? Not getting your sandwich.

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What do you call a discounted watercraft? It is traditional to give it a female name.

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"Where are my shoes?" asked the man. "On your feet," I replied. "You are a paraplegic and have no feeling from the waist down."

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what is better than your entire family getting brutally murdered applesauce

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Whats red and smells like Bacon. Bacon

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Hey I just met you, and this is crazy! But iI'm on bath salts and your face looks tasty!

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Why was Blue looking for her clue. She was drugged by a stranger and ended up inside of Mailbox.

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Billy and Jeff wanted to go on an adventure so they planned a safari in Africa. Everything was going as planned until they were in a sticky situation: whether to cross a narrow bridge above the crocodiles or not. Billy tells Jeff "Hey whats the worst thing that can happen?" Jeff was diagnosed with cancer and died the next morning.

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What's the resemblance between a chicken? Its legs are approximately equal, especially the left one.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Earlier that morning the farmer's daughter had inadvertently left the gate to the yard open as she was preoccupied by her worry over a maths test set for that day. She hadn't studied for the test as she was still deeply distressed over her fathers recent heart attack. This, coupled with the added burden of household chores now delegated to her because her mother was out trying to get the west field prepared for sowing, had made her quite forgetful and distracted of late. Whilst several chickens escaped, only one strayed so far that it actually encountered the road facing the farm. After crossing the road and gorging itself in a soy-bean crop, the chicken was struck by a furniture remover's van as it attempted to make its way home. Several hours later the dead chicken was spotted by a Community Mental Health Worker who was doing his bi-weekly rural clinic run. The chicken, being a bantam, caught the eye of the Mental Health worker, who was a keen trout fisherman. "Cool" thought the mental health worker- "those feathers will make for excellent trout flies". He stopped and plucked a handful of the most iridescent blue, green and orange feathers and placed them in an envelope. He rolled himself a cigarette, sat on the trunk of his car and admired the clouds. "God, I love this job", he muttered to no one in particular.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops